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Culture is preserved by parents who pass commonly-held customs along to their children. For generations,
one such preserving custom was the picnic. When my wife and I were kids, the picnic was a fairly regular good-weather ritual
for our respective families. These mini-vacations were usually located far outside the city limits, in a state park or even
just at one of the many roadside picnic tables (with charcoal grill and sometimes even a horseshoe pit) that used to dot the
American landscape. As parents, we passed the joys of picnicking on to our kids. I'm now aware that this cultural preservative
is in danger of going the way of the drive-in theater, another old-fashioned thing families once got excited about, especially
when Dad and Mom hid the kids in the trunk so they wouldn't have to pay as much to get in.
For those of you who are
too young to know what a picnic is, or was, here's a brief synopsis: The parents pack a lunch of yummy albeit unhealthy stuff
like fried chicken and potato salad and really salty pickles and various canned carbonated chemicals, and then everyone gets
in the car and travels to a shady spot in the country, away from the hustle and bustle of city life. When a suitable spot
is found, a tablecloth is laid out on the ground or spread over a public picnic table, the food is placed upon it, and everyone
eats while commenting on the beauty of nature. Before and after the meal, family members take walks, throw Frisbees, play
guitars and sing, or maybe just lie back on a blanket and sleep and get a sunburned face.
It wasn't exciting, no,
and that was the very idea behind a picnic. It was an opportunity for the family to tone down their daily lives, get away
from it all, and just relax and enjoy one another's company. Unfortunately, in these hurry-up-we-gotta-go times, organized
after-school and weekend activities like soccer have replaced relaxing activities like the family picnic. That's too bad,
because watching a child play a sport and yelling your head off while he does is not a family activity, nor is it especially
relaxing. Yelling and relaxed do not compute.
Today's families, more than ever, need to relax and spend relaxing times
together where there are no scores or goals or rules, which is why I am calling for a national movement to bring back the
picnic. I'm calling it, appropriately enough, "Bring Back the Family Picnic!" If that means taking your kids out of organized
after-school sports and the like, I say do it! Go on a picnic every good-weather weekend and play Frisbee! After all, Frisbee
probably exercises more brain cells, not to mention more muscle groups, than soccer. And Frisbee's more fun, and anyone who
doesn't agree has never been on a picnic where after everyone ate, the Frisbee came out.
Picnics are more fun than
the movies even because at the movies you have to be quiet, and if you go to the bathroom, you miss something. And at the
movies, a soda and a small box of popcorn costs the average American a half a week's wages. At a picnic, a soda costs what
you can buy it for at your local discount grocery store, and it tastes even better, because everything tastes better when
it's consumed in the open air. Another advantage of picnics over going to the movies: You can't get fried chicken at the movies.
Hey, listen people! Do something daring this weekend! Shock your friends and neighbors! Go on a picnic! One warning:
Picnics are addictive. Once they find out what picnics are all about, kids would rather picnic than play organized soccer.
Who could blame them? At picnics, adults don't stand around yelling their heads off.
*About the Author: John Rosemond
has written nine best-selling parenting books and is one of America's busiest and most popular speakers, known for his sound
advice, humor and easy, relaxed, engaging style. In the past few years, John has appeared on numerous national television
programs including 20/20, Good Morning America, The View, Bill Maher's Politically Incorrect, Public Eye, The Today Show,
CNN, and CBS Later Today.
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DISTRACTION OFTEN THE BEST DISCIPLINE FOR TODDLERS
QUESTION: Please describe
the best approach to the discipline of a 1-year-old child.
DR. DOBSON: Many children will begin to gently test the
authority of their parents as they approach their first birthday. The confrontations will be minor and infrequent at first,
yet the beginnings of future struggles can be seen. My own daughter, for example, challenged her mother for the first time
when she was 9 months old.
My wife was waxing the kitchen floor when Danae crawled to the edge of the linoleum. Shirley
said, "No, Danae," gesturing to the child not to enter the kitchen. Since our daughter began talking very early, she clearly
understood the meaning of the word "no." Nevertheless, she crawled straight onto the sticky wax. Shirley picked her up and
set her down in the doorway while saying "no" even more strongly as she put her down. Seven times this process was repeated
until Danae finally yielded and crawled away in tears.
As far as we can recall, that was the first direct confrontation
of wills between my daughter and wife. Many more were to follow.
How does a parent discipline a 1-year-old? Very carefully
and gently! A child at this age is easy to distract and divert. Rather than jerking a wristwatch from the child's hands, show
him or her a brightly colored alternative -- and then be prepared to catch the watch when it falls. When unavoidable confrontations
do occur, as with Danae on the waxy floor, win them by firm persistence but not by punishment. Have the courage to lead the
child without being harsh or mean or gruff.
Compared to the months that are to follow, the period around 1 year of
age is usually a tranquil, smooth-functioning time in a child's life.
QUESTION: My daughter is 5 years old and has been having some very scary nightmares lately.
She wakes up screaming in the middle of the night, but she can't tell us what frightened her. The next morning, she doesn't
seem to recall the dream, but something is obviously troubling her. My wife and I are worried that she may be developing psychological
problems that are being expressed in these terrible dreams. Is that possible?
DR. DOBSON: I think your daughter is
all right. She is probably having a "night terror" rather than a nightmare. Let me describe the difference between the two.
Nightmares occur primarily in what is known as "stage three" sleep, and are often remembered if the dreamer awakens. They
are sometimes linked to emotional distress during waking hours, and may play a role in "working through" those disturbing
experiences. A person can often talk about a nightmare and recount its scary story.
Night terrors, by contrast, usually
occur in "stage four" sleep, which is even deeper and further from consciousness. In this physiological state, the body mechanisms
are reduced to a minimum to sustain life. Breathing, heart rate, metabolism and every other function go into super-slow motion.
Some children experience strange dreams during this phase that cause them to sit up and scream in terror. However, when adults
come to the rescue, they find that the child is unresponsive. The eyes are open, but the boy or girl is obviously not awake.
And the next morning, there is no memory of what was so deeply disturbing.
This appears to be what you are describing
with reference to your daughter. You'll be encouraged to know that there seems to be no connection between night terrors and
psychological stress. It is not predictive of any known health problems or emotional disruption. Nor do we know what causes
them.
The good news is that your little girl is apparently fine. The bad news is that you may have to deal for a time
with her midnight terrors that drag you from your own stage four sleep.
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Q. My husband and I face a horrible family dilemma that boils down to sibling rivalry between
grown adopted and biological kids. The mother has done nothing to help resolve any of this. In fact, her actions have indicated
who her "inner circle" is, and my husband and his Korean sister are not included. After 40 years of marriage, the parents
divorced. The two biological children and one adoptive child sided with the mother and disowned their father.
My husband
and his sister took neither side and invited their dad for holidays and regular visits. During the seven years of separation,
he was dying of cancer. A year ago, his cancer progressed and he moved back in with his wife. The daughter lived next door,
but never made amends with Dad. The biological son wanted to pretend the breakdown in their relationship never happened, and
the adoptive son invited Dad back into his life. The parents lived in the same house, but never fully reconciled. The father
lived in the attached apartment, where he died.
During his final days, my husband and his Korean sister were not welcome.
The day he died, both were told they shouldn't come to the Mom's home and that everything had been taken care of. We were
told when his funeral would be. The mother and the three children shared a meal together and spent time with Dad's body before
he was taken. They said their final goodbyes. At the funeral, his body wasn't present, so my husband and sister were never
able to say their goodbyes.
Needless to say, my husband feels deeply hurt. He was closest to his dad, and everyone
knew it. They accepted one another, faults and all, and communicated on a very honest and real level. The family members act
as if they did nothing wrong! Is what I described normal? My husband was so distressed that he chose for us to not attend
the "family" meal after the funeral, and I believe the family relationships have been permanently destroyed.
Dad knew
what was coming. He kept telling us to love all people, especially the unlovable, nearly to the end of his life. How can we?
How does one continue relations with family members who appeared to give no care or concern toward us in the loss of a dearly
loved one? I find it inexcusable. What do you say?
A. While your treatment by family seems inexcusable, my agreement
with you won't convince your family. Unfortunately, your husband and sister-in-law must be experiencing double grief -- the
loss of a father you loved, and a mother and siblings that have severed ties with you.
Their treatment of you during
this difficult time was insensitive and immoral. I can't guess the background or the hidden agenda of such ugly treatment
by family members. You need to stay close to each other and support each other during this difficult time, and you may benefit
from counseling during your grief as well. It may be beneficial for you to check with an attorney to determine whether you're
being deprived of any financial inheritance. I'm only guessing that this may be part of the hidden agenda, but it's nevertheless
worth investigating.
For free newsletters about the principles of parenting or sibling rivalry, send a large self-addressed,
stamped envelope to P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI, 53094, or read "The Foundational Principles of Parenting" at www.sylviarimm.com.
Dr. Sylvia B. Rimm is the director of the Family Achievement Clinic in Cleveland, Ohio, a clinical professor of psychiatry
and pediatrics at the Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine, and the author of many books on parenting. More
information on raising kids is available at www.sylviarimm.com. Please send questions to: Sylvia B. Rimm on Raising Kids,
P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI 53094 or srimm@sylviarimm.com. To read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists,
visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
Copyright 2007 Creators Syndicate Inc.
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Report: TV exposure high among infants
SEATTLE (UPI) -- A recent study conducted by University of Washington researchers found nearly
40 percent of 3-month-olds spend 45 minutes a day watching television.
The pediatric study discovered that by the
time children reach the age of two, 90 percent of them spend more than 90 minutes each day watching television, The Boston
Globe reported Sunday.
Researchers said 29 percent of parents surveyed said they use television as a teaching tool,
despite previous medical reports that TV watching does not aid in brain development.
"That's stunning when you consider
that the best evidence shows that early viewing puts children on a trajectory that places them at a high risk for attention
deficit, diminished reading ability, and obesity," researcher Andrew Meltzoff said.
The study found 20 percent of
those surveyed said they use television as a temporary babysitter.
The Globe said the study of the potentially damaging
behavior was based on 1,009 interviews with families in Minnesota and Washington.
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Traveling Safely with Medications
As the summer vacation season gets started, consumers traveling with
medications may want to take a look at the Web site safemedication.com, of the American Society of Health-System Pharmacists.
"It's extremely important for people to know how to protect their medications and take them properly while away from
home," says Cynthia Brennan, president of ASHP.
"Traveling Safely with Medications," found on the Web site in the
Medications and You section, advises:
-- Many medications can cause increased sensitivity to sunlight. Ask the pharmacist
if the medication can cause photosensitivity and to recommend the right SPF, or skin protection factor, for your skin type.
-- When away from home, take along the phone numbers of both the prescriber and the pharmacy. Keep a list of all prescriptions.
-- Transport medications in their original, labeled containers. Should the medication require the use of a syringe
-- for insulin, for instance -- take the prescription as well, to ensure passing through airport security.
-- Before
traveling through several time zones, consult physician or pharmacist to work out a specific plan for adjusting the timing
and dosage of medications to prevent taking too much or too little.
Traveling without germs
A study
of U.S. hotel rooms found that adults infected with rhinovirus -- the cause of half of all colds -- may contaminate many objects
used in daily life, such as television remote controls, telephones, light switches and faucets.
Dr. Owen Hendley,
of the University of Virginia Health System, had people with colds spend five hours awake in hotel rooms before going to bed
and two hours awake in their rooms the next morning.
After they left, items were tested and 35 percent of objects
were found to have residual virus, demonstrating that people with colds do not have to be present for their germs to linger
on surfaces.
"The next time you stay in a hotel, knowing that rhinovirus may be left from the last guest, you may
wonder how meticulous the clean up crew was in their work," Hendley said.
-- Take disinfecting wipes on a trip and
wipe down hotel and car surfaces often.
-- Carry small bottles of alcohol-based cleaner in pockets and purses.
--
Wash hands often -- but clean the faucet handles first.
Traveling without amenities
As well as more
comfortable and roomier airline seats, airline travelers want cleaner and roomier bathrooms, according to a survey of more
than 1,400 travelers worldwide by TripAdvisor.
Twenty-five percent want a clean pillow/blanket as their main comfort
priority on a flight, and when it comes to complimentary snacks and beverages airline travelers want healthier options.
Thirty-six
percent want fruits and vegetables as their complimentary snack, while 33 percent want cheese and crackers. However, if it
meant a cheaper fare, 36 percent of travelers would do without complimentary snacks altogether.
The majority of travelers
identified bottled water as their favorite complimentary drink on a flight, while only 5 percent valued complimentary champagne.
Until airlines change their amenities, travelers can:
-- Carry a bulky sweater or shawl onboard to use as a blanket
or pillow.
-- Bring noise-canceling headphones.
-- Bring along sanitizing wipes to clean tray tables, or arm
rests.
-- Carry healthy snacks such as fruit, snack bars or bottled water.
Traveling with children
"Are we there yet?" millions of children ask their parents on long road trips. But even the crankiest back seat passengers
can be content, according to Claudia Gonzalez, author of "Gordita Doesn't Mean Healthy: What Every Latina Mother Needs to
Know to Raise Happy and Healthy Kids."
The mother of three and registered dietician suggests:
-- Bring small
surprises like a compass for young travelers. Play games such as 20 Questions or the license plate game.
-- Pack a
ton of healthy treats. String cheese and individual applesauce containers are favorites among even the pickiest back seat
passengers.
-- After a long road trip, it is important for everyone to get outside and be active. Bring a Frisbee
-- they are small, portable and perfect for children and adults.
-- Stopping for a meal on the road is inevitable,
but a Happy Meal can now be ordered with fresh, peeled apple slices with a low fat caramel dipping sauce and a jug of 1 percent
low-fat white or chocolate milk.
NEW YORK (UPI) -- Educators across the United States are calling for standardized testing when
it comes to the Bush administration's "No Child Left Behind" law.
CBS News Correspondent Kelly Wallace said that most
states are using different tests and standards to gauge their progress under the law.
The main issue is that some
states are allegedly accusing others of lowering the difficulty of their state tests to make it look like they have made more
progress, CBS News reported Thursday.
Wallace said some schools might be partaking in this practice because if by
2014 a school hasn't met NCLB targets, which is 100 percent proficiency in reading and math, it could be shut down.
But,
the use of different tests and standards could be blamed on the Bush administration for not setting uniform standards for
state testing.
"If you are not going to mandate a common playing field and a common measuring stick, then you don't
really have any teeth in this system, except that you are going to punish the ones, ironically, that were trying to do the
right thing," Jim Ray, a school superintendent in Spartanburg, N.C., told CBS News.
Copyright 2007 by United Press International
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FDA: FluMist for very young on hold
WASHINGTON (UPI) -- Contamination concerns led the U.S. Food and Drug Administration to delay
expanding approval of the nasal flu vaccine FluMist to very young children.
The Washington Post reported Wednesday
that the FDA had sent a warning letter about the delay following reports of contamination at a U.K. manufacturer of the drug.
The report said, however, the final FluMist product wasn't affected and the maker, MedImmune, Inc., expected to make
the vaccine available for this year's flu season. The drug is approved for people aged 5-49. MedImmune was seeking to have
the age range expanded to cover children as young as 1.
Officials from MedImmune told the Post that an unrelated pair
of lawsuits filed by company shareholders is without merit. The lawsuits are aimed at blocking the proposed $15.6 billion
deal that would sell the company to the British pharmaceutical firm AstraZeneca.
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Q. I'm a single mother of a very beautiful and perceptive 5-year-old daughter. I'd like to know
what steps I can take to prevent the negative affects to her self-esteem that can come from having an absentee/inconsistent
father. After four years of her father being absent, I took him to court for child support. He rebutted my petition with a
request for visitation. I gladly obliged him and specified to the court that I wanted him to have supervised visits each week.
I was hoping he'd take full advantage of this time to build a close relationship with our daughter. After the second month,
he stopped calling.
How do I help this man understand the importance of making the effort to build a relationship
with our daughter by involvement, instead of trying to buy a relationship with expensive gifts? He's turned into a "Disneyland
daddy," the type who lets the child call him by his first name, isn't involved in her daily life, but shows up with lots of
expensive guilt gifts. I've reminded him that, as her father, he's setting the precedent for what she'll expect from men in
her life in the future, but he doesn't seem to care! It really disturbs me that when she sees him the first thing out of her
mouth is, "Robert, what did you bring me?" instead of, "Hi, Dad, I'm glad to see you." I've asked him to have her call him
Dad, but he refuses. My energy is spent trying to explain to this man that I need him to act like a parent, and to work with
me and not against me to raise her.
I'm trying very hard to teach our daughter good values. She does pretty well with
the rest of our family and at church and school, but it all seems to go out the window when her dad is around. I just don't
want his irresponsible behavior to damage her emotions, self-image or character. Please offer some insight.
A. I'm
less concerned about the expensive gifts than I am about your ex's inconsistency. While I understand your agreement on visits
is based on your need for financial support, visits from a dad who would rather not visit or who doesn't show up when he's
supposed to can be harder on a child than no visits at all. There's nothing more difficult for your daughter than repeated
rejection. If your daughter's father would rather just send gifts than show up, perhaps you can suggest some gifts that are
useful. She might be just as delighted with a new backpack or school clothes, and these would at least be practical.
You're
unlikely to be able to convince this man to change his behavior if you weren't successful making changes when you were married
to him. A man who hasn't bothered visiting his own child in four years is unlikely to suddenly want to become a good father.
What's most important is to continue to make efforts to teach your daughter those good values you'd like her to have and introduce
her to some other men in your life who care enough about you and her to be supportive of those values. An uncle, grandfather,
good friends or neighbors are all good candidates for males who can become involved in positive ways. Furthermore, your daughter
will be watching you as a good role model of how she is to grow as a female.
Families come in many varieties in our
society today, and while a good two-parent family is ideal, an oppositional, difficult or inconsistent father can cause more
problems than benefits. If he's willing to come, make the best of it, and if he drifts off, you may consider your daughter
fortunate.
For a free newsletter about changing families, send a large self-addressed, stamped envelope to P.O. Box
32, Watertown, WI, 53094, or go to www.sylviarimm.com for more parenting information.
Dr. Sylvia B. Rimm is the director
of the Family Achievement Clinic in Cleveland, Ohio, a clinical professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the Case Western
Reserve University School of Medicine, and the author of many books on parenting. More information on raising kids is available
at www.sylviarimm.com. Please send questions to: Sylvia B. Rimm on Raising Kids, P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI 53094 or srimm@sylviarimm.com.
To read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
Copyright 2007 Creators Syndicate Inc.
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Study: Working wives help marriages
STATE COLLEGE, Pa. (UPI) -- Marriages with wives who work outside the home are more likely to
last than marriages with homemaker-only wives, a U.S. university study found.
The findings reflect a growing equity
among couples when it comes to income, decision-making, parenting and housekeeping, Pennsylvania State University sociologist
Stacy Rogers said.
Her findings -- detailed in the book "Alone Together: How Marriage in America Is Changing" -- go
against a traditional belief that working wives increased divorce rates, McClatchy-Tribune Information Services reported.
Many economists insisted the traditional marriage of a breadwinner and a homemaker was more efficient and productive
than two breadwinners, the news service said.
But Rogers' study of a nationally representative sample of 1,000 married
couples from 1980 to 2000 found husbands appreciated their wives working and making more money -- and families adapted.
Breadwinner-homemaker
marriages became "egalitarian marriages," Rogers and the study's other authors said.
With these marriages, husbands
and wives share decision-making power more equally and housekeeping and childcare duties more equitably.
Grumbling
about unfairness shifted accordingly, the study found.
Childless couples over the 20 years were generally happier
than those with children, the study found.
The study's margin of error is plus or minus 3 percentage points.
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CHILDREN'S DIFFERENCES FASCINATE PARENTS
QUESTION: I have two children who are as different
as night and day. In fact, they conform perfectly to your description of "strong-willed" and "compliant" children. One is
a spitfire and the other is a sweetheart. I am very interested in knowing more about what this means for them long-term. Beyond
everyday issues of discipline and relating within a family, what can you tell me about these kids?
DR. DOBSON: You'll
be interested to know that more than 35,000 parents participated in a study I conducted to answer those specific questions.
It is described in detail in my book "Parenting Isn't for Cowards," but let me boil down 11 of the most important findings.
Remember that these conclusions represent common traits and characteristics that may or may not apply to your two children.
These descriptions represent what typically happens with very strong-willed children (SWC) and very compliant children (CC)
as the years unfold.
No. 1: In the human family, there are nearly three times as many SWCs as CCs. Nearly every family
with multiple children has at least one SWC.
No. 2: Male SWCs outnumber females by about 5 percent, and female CCs
outnumber males by about 6 percent. Thus, there is a slight tendency for males to have tougher temperaments and for females
to be more compliant, but it is often reversed.
No. 3: The birth order has nothing to do with being strong-willed
or compliant. These elements of temperament are basically inherited, and can occur in the eldest child or in the baby.
No.
4: Most parents know they have a SWC very early. One-third can tell it at birth. Two-thirds know by the first birthday, and
92 percent are certain by the third birthday. Parents of compliant children know it even earlier.
No. 5: The temperaments
of children tend to reflect those of their parents. Although there are many exceptions, two strong-willed parents are more
likely to produce tough-minded kids and vice versa.
No. 6: One of the most interesting findings is related to what
parents can expect from SWCs in the teen years. The answer? A battle! Fully 74 percent of SWCs rebel significantly during
adolescence.
No. 7: Incredibly, only 3 percent of CCs experience severe rebellion in adolescence, and just 14 percent
go into even mild rebellion. They start out life with a smile on their faces and keep it there into young adulthood.
No.
8: The best news for parents of SWCs is the rapid decrease in their rebellion in young adulthood. It drops almost immediately
in the early 20s, and then trails off even more from there. Some SWCs are still angry into their 20s and early 30s, but the
fire is gone for the majority. They peacefully rejoin the human community.
No. 9: The CC is much more likely to be
a good student than the SWC. Nearly three times as many SWCs made D's and F's during the last two years of high school as
do CCs. Approximately 80 percent of CCs were A and B students.
No. 10: The CC is considerably better adjusted socially
than the SWC. It would appear that the youngster who is inclined to challenge the authority of his parents is also more likely
to behave offensively with his peers.
No. 11: The CC typically enjoys much higher self-esteem than the SWC. It is
difficult to overestimate the importance of this finding. Only 19 percent of compliant teenagers either disliked themselves
(17 percent) or felt extreme self-hatred (2 percent). Of the very strong-willed teenagers, however, 35 percent disliked themselves,
and 8 percent experienced extreme self-hatred.
Those were the primary findings from our study. It yielded a picture
of the compliant child as being someone more at peace with himself or herself, as well with parents, teachers and peers.
The
strong-willed child, by contrast, seems compelled from within to fuss, fight, test, question, resist and challenge. Why is
he or she like that? It is difficult to say, except to affirm that this child is more unsettled in every aspect of life. We
do know that lower self-esteem is related to the excessive peer dependency, academic difficulties, social problems and even
the rebellion we have seen. Acceptance of one's intrinsic worth is the core of the personality. When it is unsteady, everything
else is affected.
Dr. Dobson is founder and chairman of the board of the nonprofit organization Focus on
the Family, P.O. Box 444, Colorado Springs, CO. 80903; or www.family.org. Questions and answers are excerpted from "The Complete Marriage and Family Home Reference Guide" and "Bringing Up Boys,"
both published by Tyndale House.
COPYRIGHT 2007 JAMES DOBSON INC.
COPYRIGHT 2006 JAMES DOBSON INC. This feature may not be reproduced or
distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of uclick and Universal Press Syndicate.
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Daily News Headlines -- Including Religion
Get the most current religion headlines from ArcaMax with the free Religious News ezine. All of the day's happenings -- from the churches to the courts -- are covered in this free newsletter.
Religious
News is the newest in ArcaMax's lineup of news ezines, including Current News, Business News, and Sports Update.
Subscribe to Religious News instantly.
Find out more before subscribing.
-- From the ArcaMax editors
Today's Reader Submitted Photos
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ATLANTA (UPI) -- The rate of young children with cavities has increased in the only rise in tooth
decay in the U.S. population, a government report released in Atlanta said.
Dentists told USA Today the increase in
preschoolers with tooth decay could be because they drink less milk and fluoridated water and more juice and soda, or because
their parents might be too busy to help them brush properly.
The National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey
found that the percentage of children between ages 2 and 5 who have at least one cavity in their baby teeth was 28 percent
between 1999 and 2004, up from 24 percent between 1988 and 1994.
Overall, tooth decay has been decreasing since the
1960s, Bruce Dye, a dentist and epidemiologist with the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's National Center for Health
Statistics and the report's lead author, told USA Today.
"This is the first time we're seeing a rise, and it's in
the baby teeth of young children," he said. "We know from population studies that kids who have cavities in their baby teeth
are more likely to have cavities in their adult teeth. And premature loss of baby teeth will more likely create crowding problems
for adult teeth."
Copyright 2007 by United Press International
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Doctors ill-equipped to address smoking
PHILADELPHIA (UPI) -- Pediatricians believe secondhand smoke is a serious health concern for children,
but they are not equipped to help reduce exposure, says a U.S. study.
The study, published in the Journal of Pediatrics,
surveyed physician training needs and attitudes towards improving secondhand smoke reduction efforts at a Philadelphia hospital.
Sixty-six residents across all years of training and 27 preceptors, or resident supervisors, responded to the survey
and the researchers found 93 percent reported that they received less than two hours of smoking cessation training during
residency.
"Part of the issue is teaching medical residents to advise smoking parents at every patient visit," lead
author Brad Collins of Temple University said in a statement.
"Consider every message as a 'dose' of advice that in
the long run could promote lasting changes in parental smoking behavior and children's exposure."
Copyright 2007 by United Press International
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Show Readers Your Best Gardening Photos
Got a green thumb? Let everyone know! The gardening gallery gives you the opportunity to upload photos from your own garden, send them to friends, and get votes from other readers to
make yours the most popular picture of the month.
Gardeners can see more pictures, get useful tips, and more by e-mail
with a free subscription to the Gardening ezine.
Submit your gardening photos.
Subscribe to ArcaMax Gardening instantly.
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-- From the ArcaMax editors
Today's Reader Submitted Photos
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Q. I have a 6-year-old daughter who's a terrible nail biter and picker. She's just about bleeding
and still won't stop. I've tried everything over the past four years; she started at about 2 years of age. I've tried stickers,
rewards, promises of pierced ears, toys, candy, you name it -- nothing seems to work. I even tried that awful hot stuff you
paint on, and she licked it off! She likes hot and spicy things.
My daughter does wonderfully in school and ballet.
She's outgoing, happy and well-adjusted in every way. In fact, she excels and loves helping other children. She's also quite
beautiful and hears it from just about everyone she meets, or overhears this from strangers who feel compelled to tell me.
I love my daughter and her 6-year-old brother more than life and want the best for them. They were both adopted from
Russia at the same time; however, they're not genetically connected. Her brother also does extremely well in every area. They're
my miracles from God, and if you can give me some suggestions for this nail biting, I know my daughter would be just as happy
as I am to be done with this habit. Thanks and sincere gratitude for your work.
A. Your adopted children sound wonderful,
and I'm not certain why your daughter is biting her nails. If all really is well, it may only be a nasty habit. However, her
nail biting could be caused by tensions she's feeling.
It isn't easy being perfect and beautiful, and may be even
more difficult when you have a same-aged brother who also seems quite perfect. Living up to a reputation for perfection can
cause pressures. With all the love and excitement you feel about these miraculous children, they could be feeling all your
extreme praise as pressure. I don't want to detract from your enthusiasm, but you may want to downplay some of the comments
about how beautiful your daughter is by saying things like, "She's a nice person," "She's a hard worker" or "She's a good
helper." Kids feel like they have to live up to that too-high praise.
If all is well with your daughter, and you don't
see her as perfectionistic, you can direct your energy to helping her cope with her bad habit. You could have her wear gloves
around the house and when she goes to bed, and that will probably be enough to encourage her nails to grow and her fingers
to heal. Cotton gloves would be best -- you may find them in a drug store, because people sometimes use them for medication
on their hands. They're called dermatological gloves, and they're usually in the aisle where bandages are found. If you can't
find the cotton ones, others may work. Hopefully, she can break the habit before summer, when gloves will feel too warm. You
can continue the stickers for rewards, since they're motivating, too.
For a free newsletter about the principles of
parenting, perfectionism or gifted children, send a large self-addressed, stamped envelope to P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI,
53094, or read "The Foundational Principles of Parenting" at www.sylviarimm.com.
Dr. Sylvia B. Rimm is the director
of the Family Achievement Clinic in Cleveland, Ohio, a clinical professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the Case Western
Reserve University School of Medicine, and the author of many books on parenting. More information on raising kids is available
at www.sylviarimm.com. Please send questions to: Sylvia B. Rimm on Raising Kids, P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI 53094 or srimm@sylviarimm.com.
To read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
Copyright 2007 Creators Syndicate Inc.
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PARENTS NEED TO REPLY 'YES' AS OFTEN AS THEY CAN
QUESTION: I find I'm more likely to say
"no" to my children than to say "yes," even when I don't feel strongly about the permission they are seeking. I wonder why
I automatically respond so negatively.
DR. DOBSON: It is easy to fall into the habit of saying "no" to our kids.
"No,
you can't go outside."
"No, you can't have a cookie."
"No, you can't use the telephone."
"No, you
can't spend the night with a friend."
We could have answered affirmatively to all of these requests, but chose almost
automatically to respond in the negative. Why? Because we didn't take time to stop and think about the consequences; because
the activity could cause us more work or strain; because there could be danger in the request; because our children ask for
a thousand favors a day and we find it convenient to refuse them all.
While every child needs to be acquainted with
denial of some of his or her more extravagant wishes, there is also a need for parents to consider each request on its own
merit. There are so many necessary "nos" in life that we should say "yes" whenever we can.
QUESTION: Tell me why it is inevitable for couples with good marriages to go through "flat
spots" or "the blahs," and can you offer more advice about what to do when those times come?
DR. DOBSON: Romantic
love is an emotion, and as such, it has a way of coming and going. Emotions tend to oscillate from high to low to high, etc.
One of the best ways to regenerate "that lovin' feeling" in the down times is to talk about the times and places when passion
ran high.
Do you recall those days when you just couldn't wait to see each other, and how each minute apart seemed
like an eternity? Recalling those moments together is one way to regenerate what you felt before.
Even better than
talking about them is re-experiencing them. My wife and I celebrated a recent wedding anniversary by exploring what we called
our "old haunts." On a single evening, we went to the theater where we had our second date; we ate at the same restaurant
for dinner. The next week we visited the farmer's market where we used to stroll on lazy summer evenings. We talked about
warm memories and relived the excitement of those days. It was a wonderful reprise.
Another suggestion is to return
regularly to the kinds of romantic activities that drew you together in the first place. Couples need to put some fun and
laughter into their lives, which otherwise can get dreary and oppressive.
A few years ago, Shirley and I found ourselves
in that kind of situation where we had almost forgotten how to play. We finally got fed up and decided to do something about
it. We loaded the car and headed for a winter wonderland in the mountains. There we spent the weekend skiing, eating and laughing
together. That night, we built a fire in the fireplace and talked for hours while our favorite music played on the stereo.
We felt like kids again.
The next time you feel that you're losing that closeness you once shared, try talking about
your memories of earlier days and revisit the old haunts, sing the old songs, tell the old stories. It's the best bet to rekindle
the sparks of romance that first drew you together.
To keep a marriage vibrant and healthy, you simply have to give
it some attention. Water the plant, place it in the sunlight, and it will grow. If you put it in a cold, dark corner, however,
it is likely to die.
With a little effort and creativity, you can keep the fireworks in your marriage ... even when
the 4th of July has come and gone.
Dr. Dobson is founder and chairman of the board of the nonprofit organization Focus on
the Family, P.O. Box 444, Colorado Springs, CO. 80903; or www.family.org. Questions and answers are excerpted from "The Complete Marriage and Family Home Reference Guide" and "Bringing Up Boys,"
both published by Tyndale House.
COPYRIGHT 2007 JAMES DOBSON INC.
COPYRIGHT 2006 JAMES DOBSON INC. This feature may not be reproduced or
distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of uclick and Universal Press Syndicate.
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Make All-Natural Cleaning Products
If harsh products make cleaning house unpleasant, try recipes for natural cleaning products. These inexpensive alternatives, based on aromatherapy, are just some of the free tips available in the ArcaMax Home ezine every weekday.
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Q. My daughter is 12, gifted and in the seventh grade. I'm worried because she reports that she
has no friends and is bullied. She wears the same clothes, with a change, every day -- I do wash them! She says she'll be
teased if she wears anything that suggests she's trying to be cool or a "type," e.g. Goth, Prep, etc. She's very bright and
pretty, but she describes herself as stupid and ugly.
She hides her light under a bushel, as she could look very cute
and have many friends if she could relax. She refuses to do anything that will bring her in front of people. For example,
she won't even speak in a small group, and she wants to quit a new activity immediately if she's not perfect at it. After
she's gotten used to something, she's very loud, silly and inappropriate.
Is she setting up bad self-esteem and a
low profile for life? Is she an underachiever because she's very competitive? She's most like herself with adults and with
kids who are older and whom she admires. Which of your books will address these issues? -- Mom Getting Tired
A. Dear
Mom Getting Tired: It's not unusual for gifted students to feel some peer pressure in middle school, and almost all middle
school kids experience occasional bullying. It's also not unusual for gifted kids to prefer friendships with older kids whom
they admire. Even the occasional childish silliness is reasonably common for 12-year-olds, gifted or otherwise. However, you've
mentioned some problems that raise red flags.
Her fears about inappropriate dress and speaking in front of even small
groups, as well as her self-criticism suggest very low self-confidence. Quitting an activity if she doesn't learn it immediately
does suggest perfectionism. If she's avoiding doing challenging work in school, she may be underachieving, although that isn't
clear from your letter.
There's no reason for you to launder your daughter's clothes daily. Instead, insist that she
wear something else, and don't give in to her controlling you with her fears. You should take her to see a psychologist who
specifies in gifted children for counseling help.
As to books, if she's actually underachieving, or at least starting
in that direction, I address that, as well as perfectionism and competition, in my book "Why Bright Kids Get Poor Grades --
And What You Can Do About It" (Crown Publishing, 1995). For two books that address issues related to perfectionism, competition
and resilience in girls, read "See Jane Win(r)" (Crown Publishing, 1999) and "See Jane Win(r) for Girls" (Free Spirit Publishing,
2003). The second Jane book is directed specifically to middle school girls and has exercises, activities and discussion questions
that will be helpful to your daughter.
For free newsletters about "See Jane Win(r) for Girls," "Keys to Parenting
the Gifted Child," "Perfectionism," or "From Overempowerment to Underachievement," send a large, self-addressed, stamped envelope
to P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI, 53094, or go to www.seejanewin.com for more information.
Dr. Sylvia B. Rimm is the
director of the Family Achievement Clinic in Cleveland, Ohio, a clinical professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the Case
Western Reserve University School of Medicine, and the author of many books on parenting. More information on raising kids
is available at www.sylviarimm.com. Please send questions to: Sylvia B. Rimm on Raising Kids, P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI 53094
or srimm@sylviarimm.com. To read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate
website at www.creators.com.
Copyright 2007 Creators Syndicate Inc.
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Parents supply alcohol to young teens
GAINESVILLE, Fla. (UPI) -- Parents are the primary suppliers of alcohol to young adolescents,
according to a study by the University of Florida and the University of Minnesota.
Many had suspected older friends
were the source of alcohol, said senior author Kelli Komro of the University of Florida.
Although some young teens
do discover beer or whiskey with friends or at parties, most young adolescents get their first drink from mom and dad at home,
according to the study published in the journal Preventive Medicine.
Some 4,000 12- to 14-year-olds in Chicago were
surveyed between 2002 and 2005, and researchers found 17 percent of 12-year-olds said they had consumed a full alcoholic drink
within the past year -- and 33 percent of them reported their parents gave them their last drink.
In addition, 4 percent
of teens took alcohol from home without their parents' knowledge, said Komro.
"This study clearly shows it's very
important to educate parents about the consequences of the early onset of drinking, to try to prevent them from being a source
of alcohol for their children," Komro said in a statement.
Copyright 2007 by United Press International
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Bird Flu Vaccine Approved
A bird flu vaccine has been approved for use for the first time in the United States -- read more to find out about the study and how it will be distributed.
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In a recent article on co-sleeping (the peculiar New Age practice of sleeping with one's child
or children to facilitate "bonding"), I made the following comment: "...even the generally limp-wristed American Academy of
Pediatrics has come out against it." A number of people, including a pediatrician, have asked what I meant by that, so I will
explain.
In my estimation, the American Academy of Pediatrics has a recent history of taking very "soft" stands on
parenting issues, if they take a stand at all. They have fallen, for example, for AAP member T. Berry Brazelton's toilet training
propaganda concerning "readiness signs." This cut-from-whole-cloth mythology has transformed something that was once done
fairly quickly and with no fanfare before a child turned two into something that for many parents winds up taking three to
six months and involves more stress than our great-grandmothers could have imagined. For this act of professional nepotism
alone, the AAP ought to be ashamed of itself. Newspapers will not give me enough space to rant about the AAP's scientific
carelessness concerning attention deficit disorder and its various behavior disorder offspring.
When it comes to discipline,
the AAP is beyond soft. In the July 2006 issue of AAP News, Senior Editor Carla Kemp wrote a column titled "Behavior Management
101: Beyond time-out" in which she shared advice from various behavioral pediatricians on managing aggression in young children.
The title intrigued me because I had never seen any AAP publication recommend a discipline that was "beyond time-out." Turns
out the AAP and I hardly agree on the definition of "beyond."
One recommendation for handling a child who aggresses
against other children is to tell the child the rule (no biting), redirect (ask, "Are your feet for kicking or walking?"),
promote empathy (ask, "How do you think Johnny felt when you kicked him?"), and role play by helping the child act out what
to do the next time he finds himself in the same situation. Hello? This is an example of what I call "Yada-Yada Discipline"
-- the attempt to talk and cajole a child out of misbehaving. It is generally ineffective, but as regards aggressive children,
it's the equivalent of trying to stop a charging elephant with a fly swatter.
Another pediatrician favored using a
system where the offending child receives a mark on his hand every time the parent or teacher sees him doing something appropriate.
When the child has a certain number of marks, he gets a treat. The problem with this is that aggressive children quickly figure
out that the way to keep getting treated (no pun intended) as special cases is to keep hurting other children.
But
before using positive reinforcement, says this same pediatric "expert," it's important to try to figure out what is causing
the aggression. I know the answer to that. Aggressive children possess, by varying degrees, an entitlement mentality: They
believe that what they want, they deserve to have; the ends justify the means; and no one has a right to deny them or stand
in their way. Only powerful discipline that is truly "beyond time-out" will dislodge that mentality from a child.
A
social worker was quoted in Kemp's column as recommending that aggressive children be sent to a cozy corner with quiet games
and stuffed animals to play with until he regains control, at which point the caregiver is to give "tons of praise." Hello?
A child who hits another child gets to go to the day care equivalent of Cozumel?
The problem here is that pediatricians
are the first people most parents go to with discipline problems. In fact, most pediatricians these days are dealing with
more questions about behavioral issues than medical issues. Unfortunately, they are probably more apt to give bad advice than
good advice. But I don't fault them. After all, they receive very little competent training in either medical school or their
residencies in child behavior and child development. I fault the AAP for making a bad situation even worse.
"So, Mr.
Smarty-Pants Parenting Expert," the AAP might retort, "how would you recommend dealing with aggressive children?"
Unfortunately,
I'm out of space, but I'll take on that very question next week, at which time I'll relate true stories of aggressive children
who were cured in no time at all with truly "beyond time-out."
*About the Author: John Rosemond has written nine best-selling
parenting books and is one of America's busiest and most popular speakers, known for his sound advice, humor and easy, relaxed,
engaging style. In the past few years, John has appeared on numerous national television programs including 20/20, Good Morning
America, The View, Bill Maher's Politically Incorrect, Public Eye, The Today Show, CNN, and CBS Later Today.
Click here to visit Rosemond's Web site, www.rosemond.com.
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"Fracture" (R, 1 hr., 38 min.)
What begins as an exercise in superficial
cinematic glitz -- all fancy camera angles, pricey real estate and snarky dialogue -- ripens into a satisfying morality tale
in "Fracture." A film that gets better as it goes along is a rare thing and high-schoolers can expect to be pretty transfixed
by it. Rather understated compared to many of today's R-rated films, "Fracture" contains stylized gun violence, not graphic
but with much blood. Only one scene implies lovemaking and it, too, is stylized and not graphic. The dialogue contains a lot
of midrange profanity and some crude sexual language, milder sexual innuendo and toilet humor. Characters also drink.
The
film's not-so-secret weapon is Anthony Hopkins as the villain, a wealthy aeronautics executive who shoots his unfaithful younger
wife (Embeth Davidtz) and seems to confess, only to send the authorities on a fool's errand in which all the evidence
against him melts away. Hopkins' character more than occasionally recalls his signature film psychopath, Hannibal Lecter,
but is less clever and more human. The film's protagonist is Assistant District Attorney Willy Beachum (Ryan Gosling), a star
prosecutor with a record-breaking conviction rate. Willy soon learns there are factors in this case designed to tarnish his
reputation, such as a missing weapon and a cop enmeshed in a love triangle. More a character actor than a leading man, Gosling
is most interesting when Willy stops chewing gum and starts weighing his moral choices. A gorgeous lawyer (Rosamund Pike)
from a big law firm he'd like to join clouds his judgment.
"Disturbia" (PG-13, 1 hr., 44 min.)
"Disturbia," which topped the box office scores last week, is a coarser and more violent film with its PG-13
rating than "Fracture" is with its R. Thus are the problems with the PG-13 rating exposed for all to ponder. Themes about
a misogynistic serial killer and suburban voyeurism are interwoven in the film with a classic teen romance. The melding of
these genres is never comfortable and looks more exploitative and cynical as the film goes on. Certainly "Disturbia" is not
suitable for middle-school kids. It shows the dead female victims of a serial killer, wrapped in plastic and hidden behind
a wall. And it hints at how the man goes about his murders, with the sounds of screaming and the sight of blood spattering.
Apart from its darker elements, the movie is full of the understated sexual innuendo and implied longing of a teen love story.
Though none of that is explicit, there are a couple of fairly steamy kissing scenes. There are also lascivious shots of girls
in bikinis and of a young woman undressing, though with her back to the camera and no nudity. Even so, we're seeing her through
the eyes of her voyeuristic teen neighbor -- and he's our hero. One gag has two little boys secretly watching a porn video
showing topless women covered in whipped cream. The script also includes a marital infidelity theme, barnyard profanity and
a drug reference in a song lyric.
Shia LaBeouf plays Kale, a smart but troubled high-school kid who can't get beyond
the death of his dad a year earlier in an awful road crash (shown in the prologue). Kale socks a teacher and gets three months
of house arrest, complete with one of those electronic ankle bracelets. He starts using his cell phone, video cameras and
such to spy on the neighbors. A cute new girl named Ashley (Sarah Roemer) has moved in next door. Soon she and Kale find a
flirty kinship and the two of them, plus Kale's pal Ronnie (Aaron Yoo), are spying together. They begin to suspect another
next-door neighbor (David Morse) of murder. There is much of Hitchcock's "Rear Window" (1954) in "Disturbia," just not the
classy part.
"The TV Set" (R, 1 hr., 29 min.) (LIMITED RELEASE)
Showbiz-savvy high-schoolers
16 and older will get a dose of reality and rich sardonic humor watching "The TV Set." They'll see -- in only slightly exaggerated
form -- the kinds of intellectual and ethical compromises artists and network executives take (and then rationalize) in order
to make the big bucks. Writer/director Jake Kasdan really zaps a nerve here. His droll cautionary tale salutes idealism, then
proceeds to write its epitaph. The R rating reflects strong profanity. The film contains milder elements of sexual innuendo,
sexual language, drinking, abuse of painkillers, a marijuana moment, and a suicide theme.
David Duchovny, in likeably
rumpled mode, plays Mike, the creator of a new, bittersweet TV sitcom pilot based on his own life and sparked by the incident
of a relative's suicide. The network executives who make the pilot immediately mess with Mike's vision. The biggest bigwig
(a perfectly brittle Sigourney Weaver) thinks the suicide theme needs to go. She also selects an actor for the lead (Fran
Kranz) who plays every joke and emotion as broadly as a clown, and Mike can't stand him. Her new, BBC-bred assistant
(Ioan Gruffudd) tries to help Mike save his original concept but is gradually co-opted himself. Watching Mike's idea dumbed
down to the lowest common denominator is funny and tragic.
P.S. FOR TEENS 16 AND OLDER: If you notice a
lot of adults shaking their heads when they watch TV and muttering, "It's just like 'Network,"' you might want to check out
the movie they're referring to. "Network" (R, 1976) imagined the decline of television to the lowest, most exploitative kind
of programming. What's ironic is that nothing imagined in the movie 31 years ago comes nearly low enough to reflect what's
on TV today. "Network" was directed by Sidney Lumet and written by Paddy Chayefsky, who were pioneers in film and early television.
Beyond the Ratings Game: Movie Reviews for various ages
-- OK FOR 6 AND OLDER:
"Meet
the Robinsons" G (Gorgeous computer-animated feature (shown in crisp, colorful, non-scary 3-D at some theaters) celebrates
imagination, individuality, creating a family when you don't have one, in tale of bespectacled, spiky-haired 12-year-old inventor,
Lewis; an orphan eager to find his real mom, Lewis invents a "memory scanner"; Wilbur Robinson, a boy from the future, takes
Lewis there -- a cheery art deco-style future, which at darker moments looks more like the dehumanized world of Fritz Lang's
1927 silent classic, "Metropolis." Lewis meets the riotously eccentric Robinson clan and feels loved. Baby abandoned on orphanage
step; serious theme handled humorously shows how childhood loneliness, sadness, failure can stalk us through life; "Bowler
Hat Guy" villain wears a hat that sprouts metal legs, chases folks; Lewis and Wilbur crash a time machine; rude taunts "puke-face"
and "booger-breath"; dinosaur topiary comes to life, chases folks.)
-- OK FOR 8 AND OLDER:
"Firehouse Dog"
PG (Heavy-handed comedy nearly defeats a strong cast with its corny script, oversold jokes and clumsy special effects that
spoil the wonderment; a movie star Irish terrier, Rex, falls from a plane during a film stunt, lands safely in a tomato truck
(minus his wavy hairpiece) and endears himself to a firehouse crew in the nearby city with his agility and courage, becoming
their mascot and winning over the fire captain's (Bruce Greenwood) sullen 12-year-old son (Josh Hutcherson); but an arsonist
is on the loose and Rex's trainer (Dash Mihok) misses him. Too many doggie digestive jokes: Rex has noisy flatulence, poops
into a pot of stew; intense firefighting scenes with explosive smoke, flames, falling beams; boy, dog, and a firefighter are
trapped at various times, all rescued; subplots about grief, loss, anger over mother's abandonment of them, a firefighter
uncle who died in a blaze.)
"Are We Done Yet?" PG (Less crass, more amusing sequel to Ice Cube's 2005 comedy
"Are We There Yet?" (PG, but deserved a PG-13); still acting within a narrow range (from annoyance to anger and back), Cube
plays sports writer/entrepreneur Nick, now married to Suzanne (Nia Long), the divorcee he pursued in the first film; with
her and his new stepkids (Aleisha Allen and Philip Daniel Bolden, both less arch and annoying than in the first film) he moves
into a house that needs major repairs; John C. McGinley is Nick's amusing, over-the-top foil as the ever-present real estate
guy/contractor. Mild sexual innuendo; chaste romance between 13-year-old girl and a slightly older boy; comic scenes with
deer and raccoons acting crazy; bats swarm; owl swoops to grab a chipmunk; pigeon falls dead after being shot (off-camera)
with a nail gun; huge fish pulls a child under water (a quick rescue); toilet humor; "plumber's butt.")
"TMNT"
PG (First "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle" feature since 1993 (also PGs in 1990, '91, '93), this time a fully computer-animated
'toon -- hard-edged and homely, dimly lit, narratively murky, too violent for some under 10; the Ninja Turtles (mutated long
ago by a pollutant "ooze" and named for Italian Renaissance artists Leonardo, Michelangelo, Raphael and Donatello) have become
estranged; their sensei, Master Splinter, says they must reconcile before facing a new threat -- reanimated stone warriors
from ancient Central America; their archeologist pal April (voice of Sarah Michelle Gellar) and her boyfriend Casey Jones
(Chris Evans) help. Semi-harsh language ("snot kicked out of him"); tired ethnic stereotypes; off-color joke kids won't get
refers subtly to phone-sex industry; huge, looming red-eyed monsters, ancient warriors; battles not bloody, but big and loud.)
-- PG-13s OF VARYING INTENSITIES:
"Disturbia" (NEW) (Exploitative thriller awkwardly mixes dark, violent
R-ish themes and PG-13-ish teen romance; Shia LaBeouf stars as a troubled kid still grieving for his father (who dies in a
highway accident shown in an upsetting prologue); he socks a teacher and gets three months' house arrest, complete with electronic
ankle bracelet; bored, he starts using digital equipment to spy on the neighbors; with the cute new girl next door (Sarah
Roemer) and his pal (Aaron Yoo) he suspects one neighbor (David Morse) is a serial killer. Female victims of serial killer
shown wrapped in plastic; hints of the killer at work -- screams, blood spattering; understated sexual innuendo and implied
teen longing; steamy kissing scenes; shots of girls in bikinis and of a young woman undressing with her back to the camera
and no nudity, all seen through the eyes of our voyeuristic protagonist; two little boys secretly watch a lewd video showing
topless women covered in whipped cream; infidelity theme; barnyard profanity; drug reference. Too dark for middle-schoolers.)
"Blades of Glory" (Riotous, rude farce about figure skating rivals Chazz (Will Ferrell) and Jimmy (Jon Heder),
banned forever from competition for public scuffling; three years later, a stalker/fan (Nick Swardson) and a veteran coach
(Craig T. Nelson) note a loophole that would allow the two to compete as the first male/male duo. Constant R-ish verbal, visual
sex jokes go beyond innuendo: crotch gags; references to Chazz's "sex addiction" (he attends a lascivious support group, claims
he had an affair with a 35-year-old woman when he was 9); much gay (at times homophobic) humor; a towel worn dangerously low;
drinking; talk of drug use; adoption spoof; incest joke; death threat; ice stunt video ending in bloody accidental decapitation;
profanity; toilet humor. Not for middle-schoolers.)
-- R's:
"Fracture" (NEW) (Thriller starts out glitzy,
superficial, but gains momentum and gravitas, morphing into an intriguing morality tale about justice versus prestige; Anthony
Hopkins steals the picture as a cold aeronautics executive (though more human and less clever than his iconic Hannibal Lecter)
who shoots his unfaithful wife (Embeth Davidtz) and seems to confess his guilt; the hotshot assistant district attorney (Ryan
Gosling) assigned to prosecute him soon sees all the evidence melt away; he must decide whether to pursue justice or decamp
to a fancy law firm. Understated compared to many current R-rated films: stylized gun violence, not hugely graphic but with
much blood; stylized, nongraphic lovemaking scene; midrange profanity; semi-crude sexual language; milder sexual innuendo;
toilet humor; drinking. OK for high-schoolers.)
"The TV Set" (NEW; LIMITED RELEASE) (Smart, sardonically funny
spoof of how TV pilots are made and artists' visions dumbed down; film is a cautionary tale that applauds idealism; David
Duchovny stars as creator of a new autobiographical sitcom based partly on memories of a family suicide; Sigourney Weaver
as the network exec who junks the suicide theme and hires the worst possible actor (Fran Kranz) for the lead; Ioan Gruffudd
as her BBC-bred assistant who tries to save the series' integrity, but gets co-opted, too. Strong profanity; milder sexual
innuendo, sexual language; drinking; abuse of painkillers; a marijuana moment; suicide theme. Showbiz savvy teens 16 and older.)
"The Reaping" (Silly film borrows much from occult/religious thrillers such as "The Exorcist" (R, 1973), "Rosemary's
Baby" (R, 1968), and "The Omen" (R, 1976); despite nice atmospherics, it never makes chills of its own; Hilary Swank as an
ex-minister, now professor, who lost her faith after a tragedy and now debunks "miracles"; she and her assistant (Idris Elba)
go to a Louisiana town, asked by a local man (David Morrissey) to find scientific reasons their river has turned blood-red,
cattle are dying, frogs are falling from the sky (Old Testament-style plagues) so townsfolk won't kill a 12-year-old girl
(AnnaSophia Robb) they suspect of Satanism. Gun suicide; dreamlike, semiexplicit sexual situation; subtext about menstruation,
puberty; piles of dead cattle; swarming locusts, maggots; children endangered; fire and brimstone; profanity; drinking. 16
and older.)
"Shooter" (Rip-snorter action thriller (based on Washington Post film critic Stephen Hunter's novel,
"Point of Impact") moves so supercool-fast, audiences won't have time to trip over logical speed bumps; Mark Wahlberg as an
ex-Marine sniper who leaves the military after his superiors betray him on a secret mission; a civilian years later, he's
recruited by an ex-colonel (Danny Glover) to pre-empt a presidential assassination; betrayed again, he's framed as an assassin
and on the run; a rookie FBI agent (Michael Pena) and the widow of his Marine buddy (Kate Mara) help him. High-caliber shootings
with much blood, occasional gore; gun suicide; fingers, then arm shot off; do-it-yourself bullet removal; villain's implied
intention to commit rape; strong profanity; beer. Action fans 16 and up.)
(c) 2007, Washington Post Writers Group.
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Mandatory bicycle helmets, fewer injuries
BRISBANE, Australia (UPI) -- Laws requiring people to wear bicycle helmets appear to increase
use and decrease injury rates, according to an Australian review.
The review, published in The Cochrane Review, found
that that there was a clear indication that helmet legislation saw a decrease in head injuries associated with increased use
of helmets.
Between 35 percent and 40 percent of children who are hospitalized after a cycling incident have head
injuries, says lead author Anneliese Spinks of the School of Medicine at Griffith University in Brisbane.
A previous
Cochrane Review found that bicycle helmets can reduce head injury by up to 88 percent and facial injury by 65 percent in all
ages, but many people do not use them.
Some countries such as Australia have tried mandating helmets for cyclists
of all ages.
"What is not clear, however, is whether the legislation caused fewer children to go out on their bikes,"
Spinks said in a statement. "It may be that the reductions in injuries were a result of children using bikes less; however,
there have been no high-quality studies that have tested this scenario."
Copyright 2007 by United Press International
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Read "The Adventures of Sherlock Homes" Free!
Sit down with a classic mystery, courtesy of the ArcaMax Book Club. Arthur Conan Doyle's Adventures of Sherlock Holmes is just one of more than 600 free books you can read online, either on the site or a chapter a day by e-mail.
If
you're looking for more, visit the Book Club, join a discussion in the Book Club Community, or sign up for the weekly Book Club ezine to keep up with our featured authors and newest available books.
Subscribe to "The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes" instantly.
Subscribe to the free New Books ezine instantly.
View the full list of books.
-- From the ArcaMax editors
Today's Reader Submitted Photos
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Q. My daughter is 12, gifted and in the seventh grade. I'm worried because she reports that she
has no friends and is bullied. She wears the same clothes, with a change, every day -- I do wash them! She says she'll be
teased if she wears anything that suggests she's trying to be cool or a "type," e.g. Goth, Prep, etc. She's very bright and
pretty, but she describes herself as stupid and ugly.
She hides her light under a bushel, as she could look very cute
and have many friends if she could relax. She refuses to do anything that will bring her in front of people. For example,
she won't even speak in a small group, and she wants to quit a new activity immediately if she's not perfect at it. After
she's gotten used to something, she's very loud, silly and inappropriate.
Is she setting up bad self-esteem and a
low profile for life? Is she an underachiever because she's very competitive? She's most like herself with adults and with
kids who are older and whom she admires. Which of your books will address these issues? -- Mom Getting Tired
A. Dear
Mom Getting Tired: It's not unusual for gifted students to feel some peer pressure in middle school, and almost all middle
school kids experience occasional bullying. It's also not unusual for gifted kids to prefer friendships with older kids whom
they admire. Even the occasional childish silliness is reasonably common for 12-year-olds, gifted or otherwise. However, you've
mentioned some problems that raise red flags.
Her fears about inappropriate dress and speaking in front of even small
groups, as well as her self-criticism suggest very low self-confidence. Quitting an activity if she doesn't learn it immediately
does suggest perfectionism. If she's avoiding doing challenging work in school, she may be underachieving, although that isn't
clear from your letter.
There's no reason for you to launder your daughter's clothes daily. Instead, insist that she
wear something else, and don't give in to her controlling you with her fears. You should take her to see a psychologist who
specifies in gifted children for counseling help.
As to books, if she's actually underachieving, or at least starting
in that direction, I address that, as well as perfectionism and competition, in my book "Why Bright Kids Get Poor Grades --
And What You Can Do About It" (Crown Publishing, 1995). For two books that address issues related to perfectionism, competition
and resilience in girls, read "See Jane Win(r)" (Crown Publishing, 1999) and "See Jane Win(r) for Girls" (Free Spirit Publishing,
2003). The second Jane book is directed specifically to middle school girls and has exercises, activities and discussion questions
that will be helpful to your daughter.
For free newsletters about "See Jane Win(r) for Girls," "Keys to Parenting
the Gifted Child," "Perfectionism," or "From Overempowerment to Underachievement," send a large, self-addressed, stamped envelope
to P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI, 53094, or go to www.seejanewin.com for more information.
Dr. Sylvia B. Rimm is the
director of the Family Achievement Clinic in Cleveland, Ohio, a clinical professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the Case
Western Reserve University School of Medicine, and the author of many books on parenting. More information on raising kids
is available at www.sylviarimm.com. Please send questions to: Sylvia B. Rimm on Raising Kids, P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI 53094
or srimm@sylviarimm.com. To read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate
website at www.creators.com.
Copyright 2007 Creators Syndicate Inc.
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Parents supply alcohol to young teens
GAINESVILLE, Fla. (UPI) -- Parents are the primary suppliers of alcohol to young adolescents,
according to a study by the University of Florida and the University of Minnesota.
Many had suspected older friends
were the source of alcohol, said senior author Kelli Komro of the University of Florida.
Although some young teens
do discover beer or whiskey with friends or at parties, most young adolescents get their first drink from mom and dad at home,
according to the study published in the journal Preventive Medicine.
Some 4,000 12- to 14-year-olds in Chicago were
surveyed between 2002 and 2005, and researchers found 17 percent of 12-year-olds said they had consumed a full alcoholic drink
within the past year -- and 33 percent of them reported their parents gave them their last drink.
In addition, 4 percent
of teens took alcohol from home without their parents' knowledge, said Komro.
"This study clearly shows it's very
important to educate parents about the consequences of the early onset of drinking, to try to prevent them from being a source
of alcohol for their children," Komro said in a statement.
Copyright 2007 by United Press International
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Bird Flu Vaccine Approved
A bird flu vaccine has been approved for use for the first time in the United States -- read more to find out about the study and how it will be distributed.
-- From the ArcaMax editors
Today's Reader Submitted Photos
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"Fracture" (R, 1 hr., 38 min.)
What begins as an exercise in superficial
cinematic glitz -- all fancy camera angles, pricey real estate and snarky dialogue -- ripens into a satisfying morality tale
in "Fracture." A film that gets better as it goes along is a rare thing and high-schoolers can expect to be pretty transfixed
by it. Rather understated compared to many of today's R-rated films, "Fracture" contains stylized gun violence, not graphic
but with much blood. Only one scene implies lovemaking and it, too, is stylized and not graphic. The dialogue contains a lot
of midrange profanity and some crude sexual language, milder sexual innuendo and toilet humor. Characters also drink.
The
film's not-so-secret weapon is Anthony Hopkins as the villain, a wealthy aeronautics executive who shoots his unfaithful younger
wife (Embeth Davidtz) and seems to confess, only to send the authorities on a fool's errand in which all the evidence
against him melts away. Hopkins' character more than occasionally recalls his signature film psychopath, Hannibal Lecter,
but is less clever and more human. The film's protagonist is Assistant District Attorney Willy Beachum (Ryan Gosling), a star
prosecutor with a record-breaking conviction rate. Willy soon learns there are factors in this case designed to tarnish his
reputation, such as a missing weapon and a cop enmeshed in a love triangle. More a character actor than a leading man, Gosling
is most interesting when Willy stops chewing gum and starts weighing his moral choices. A gorgeous lawyer (Rosamund Pike)
from a big law firm he'd like to join clouds his judgment.
"Disturbia" (PG-13, 1 hr., 44 min.)
"Disturbia," which topped the box office scores last week, is a coarser and more violent film with its PG-13
rating than "Fracture" is with its R. Thus are the problems with the PG-13 rating exposed for all to ponder. Themes about
a misogynistic serial killer and suburban voyeurism are interwoven in the film with a classic teen romance. The melding of
these genres is never comfortable and looks more exploitative and cynical as the film goes on. Certainly "Disturbia" is not
suitable for middle-school kids. It shows the dead female victims of a serial killer, wrapped in plastic and hidden behind
a wall. And it hints at how the man goes about his murders, with the sounds of screaming and the sight of blood spattering.
Apart from its darker elements, the movie is full of the understated sexual innuendo and implied longing of a teen love story.
Though none of that is explicit, there are a couple of fairly steamy kissing scenes. There are also lascivious shots of girls
in bikinis and of a young woman undressing, though with her back to the camera and no nudity. Even so, we're seeing her through
the eyes of her voyeuristic teen neighbor -- and he's our hero. One gag has two little boys secretly watching a porn video
showing topless women covered in whipped cream. The script also includes a marital infidelity theme, barnyard profanity and
a drug reference in a song lyric.
Shia LaBeouf plays Kale, a smart but troubled high-school kid who can't get beyond
the death of his dad a year earlier in an awful road crash (shown in the prologue). Kale socks a teacher and gets three months
of house arrest, complete with one of those electronic ankle bracelets. He starts using his cell phone, video cameras and
such to spy on the neighbors. A cute new girl named Ashley (Sarah Roemer) has moved in next door. Soon she and Kale find a
flirty kinship and the two of them, plus Kale's pal Ronnie (Aaron Yoo), are spying together. They begin to suspect another
next-door neighbor (David Morse) of murder. There is much of Hitchcock's "Rear Window" (1954) in "Disturbia," just not the
classy part.
"The TV Set" (R, 1 hr., 29 min.) (LIMITED RELEASE)
Showbiz-savvy high-schoolers
16 and older will get a dose of reality and rich sardonic humor watching "The TV Set." They'll see -- in only slightly exaggerated
form -- the kinds of intellectual and ethical compromises artists and network executives take (and then rationalize) in order
to make the big bucks. Writer/director Jake Kasdan really zaps a nerve here. His droll cautionary tale salutes idealism, then
proceeds to write its epitaph. The R rating reflects strong profanity. The film contains milder elements of sexual innuendo,
sexual language, drinking, abuse of painkillers, a marijuana moment, and a suicide theme.
David Duchovny, in likeably
rumpled mode, plays Mike, the creator of a new, bittersweet TV sitcom pilot based on his own life and sparked by the incident
of a relative's suicide. The network executives who make the pilot immediately mess with Mike's vision. The biggest bigwig
(a perfectly brittle Sigourney Weaver) thinks the suicide theme needs to go. She also selects an actor for the lead (Fran
Kranz) who plays every joke and emotion as broadly as a clown, and Mike can't stand him. Her new, BBC-bred assistant
(Ioan Gruffudd) tries to help Mike save his original concept but is gradually co-opted himself. Watching Mike's idea dumbed
down to the lowest common denominator is funny and tragic.
P.S. FOR TEENS 16 AND OLDER: If you notice a
lot of adults shaking their heads when they watch TV and muttering, "It's just like 'Network,"' you might want to check out
the movie they're referring to. "Network" (R, 1976) imagined the decline of television to the lowest, most exploitative kind
of programming. What's ironic is that nothing imagined in the movie 31 years ago comes nearly low enough to reflect what's
on TV today. "Network" was directed by Sidney Lumet and written by Paddy Chayefsky, who were pioneers in film and early television.
Beyond the Ratings Game: Movie Reviews for various ages
-- OK FOR 6 AND OLDER:
"Meet
the Robinsons" G (Gorgeous computer-animated feature (shown in crisp, colorful, non-scary 3-D at some theaters) celebrates
imagination, individuality, creating a family when you don't have one, in tale of bespectacled, spiky-haired 12-year-old inventor,
Lewis; an orphan eager to find his real mom, Lewis invents a "memory scanner"; Wilbur Robinson, a boy from the future, takes
Lewis there -- a cheery art deco-style future, which at darker moments looks more like the dehumanized world of Fritz Lang's
1927 silent classic, "Metropolis." Lewis meets the riotously eccentric Robinson clan and feels loved. Baby abandoned on orphanage
step; serious theme handled humorously shows how childhood loneliness, sadness, failure can stalk us through life; "Bowler
Hat Guy" villain wears a hat that sprouts metal legs, chases folks; Lewis and Wilbur crash a time machine; rude taunts "puke-face"
and "booger-breath"; dinosaur topiary comes to life, chases folks.)
-- OK FOR 8 AND OLDER:
"Firehouse Dog"
PG (Heavy-handed comedy nearly defeats a strong cast with its corny script, oversold jokes and clumsy special effects that
spoil the wonderment; a movie star Irish terrier, Rex, falls from a plane during a film stunt, lands safely in a tomato truck
(minus his wavy hairpiece) and endears himself to a firehouse crew in the nearby city with his agility and courage, becoming
their mascot and winning over the fire captain's (Bruce Greenwood) sullen 12-year-old son (Josh Hutcherson); but an arsonist
is on the loose and Rex's trainer (Dash Mihok) misses him. Too many doggie digestive jokes: Rex has noisy flatulence, poops
into a pot of stew; intense firefighting scenes with explosive smoke, flames, falling beams; boy, dog, and a firefighter are
trapped at various times, all rescued; subplots about grief, loss, anger over mother's abandonment of them, a firefighter
uncle who died in a blaze.)
"Are We Done Yet?" PG (Less crass, more amusing sequel to Ice Cube's 2005 comedy
"Are We There Yet?" (PG, but deserved a PG-13); still acting within a narrow range (from annoyance to anger and back), Cube
plays sports writer/entrepreneur Nick, now married to Suzanne (Nia Long), the divorcee he pursued in the first film; with
her and his new stepkids (Aleisha Allen and Philip Daniel Bolden, both less arch and annoying than in the first film) he moves
into a house that needs major repairs; John C. McGinley is Nick's amusing, over-the-top foil as the ever-present real estate
guy/contractor. Mild sexual innuendo; chaste romance between 13-year-old girl and a slightly older boy; comic scenes with
deer and raccoons acting crazy; bats swarm; owl swoops to grab a chipmunk; pigeon falls dead after being shot (off-camera)
with a nail gun; huge fish pulls a child under water (a quick rescue); toilet humor; "plumber's butt.")
"TMNT"
PG (First "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle" feature since 1993 (also PGs in 1990, '91, '93), this time a fully computer-animated
'toon -- hard-edged and homely, dimly lit, narratively murky, too violent for some under 10; the Ninja Turtles (mutated long
ago by a pollutant "ooze" and named for Italian Renaissance artists Leonardo, Michelangelo, Raphael and Donatello) have become
estranged; their sensei, Master Splinter, says they must reconcile before facing a new threat -- reanimated stone warriors
from ancient Central America; their archeologist pal April (voice of Sarah Michelle Gellar) and her boyfriend Casey Jones
(Chris Evans) help. Semi-harsh language ("snot kicked out of him"); tired ethnic stereotypes; off-color joke kids won't get
refers subtly to phone-sex industry; huge, looming red-eyed monsters, ancient warriors; battles not bloody, but big and loud.)
-- PG-13s OF VARYING INTENSITIES:
"Disturbia" (NEW) (Exploitative thriller awkwardly mixes dark, violent
R-ish themes and PG-13-ish teen romance; Shia LaBeouf stars as a troubled kid still grieving for his father (who dies in a
highway accident shown in an upsetting prologue); he socks a teacher and gets three months' house arrest, complete with electronic
ankle bracelet; bored, he starts using digital equipment to spy on the neighbors; with the cute new girl next door (Sarah
Roemer) and his pal (Aaron Yoo) he suspects one neighbor (David Morse) is a serial killer. Female victims of serial killer
shown wrapped in plastic; hints of the killer at work -- screams, blood spattering; understated sexual innuendo and implied
teen longing; steamy kissing scenes; shots of girls in bikinis and of a young woman undressing with her back to the camera
and no nudity, all seen through the eyes of our voyeuristic protagonist; two little boys secretly watch a lewd video showing
topless women covered in whipped cream; infidelity theme; barnyard profanity; drug reference. Too dark for middle-schoolers.)
"Blades of Glory" (Riotous, rude farce about figure skating rivals Chazz (Will Ferrell) and Jimmy (Jon Heder),
banned forever from competition for public scuffling; three years later, a stalker/fan (Nick Swardson) and a veteran coach
(Craig T. Nelson) note a loophole that would allow the two to compete as the first male/male duo. Constant R-ish verbal, visual
sex jokes go beyond innuendo: crotch gags; references to Chazz's "sex addiction" (he attends a lascivious support group, claims
he had an affair with a 35-year-old woman when he was 9); much gay (at times homophobic) humor; a towel worn dangerously low;
drinking; talk of drug use; adoption spoof; incest joke; death threat; ice stunt video ending in bloody accidental decapitation;
profanity; toilet humor. Not for middle-schoolers.)
-- R's:
"Fracture" (NEW) (Thriller starts out glitzy,
superficial, but gains momentum and gravitas, morphing into an intriguing morality tale about justice versus prestige; Anthony
Hopkins steals the picture as a cold aeronautics executive (though more human and less clever than his iconic Hannibal Lecter)
who shoots his unfaithful wife (Embeth Davidtz) and seems to confess his guilt; the hotshot assistant district attorney (Ryan
Gosling) assigned to prosecute him soon sees all the evidence melt away; he must decide whether to pursue justice or decamp
to a fancy law firm. Understated compared to many current R-rated films: stylized gun violence, not hugely graphic but with
much blood; stylized, nongraphic lovemaking scene; midrange profanity; semi-crude sexual language; milder sexual innuendo;
toilet humor; drinking. OK for high-schoolers.)
"The TV Set" (NEW; LIMITED RELEASE) (Smart, sardonically funny
spoof of how TV pilots are made and artists' visions dumbed down; film is a cautionary tale that applauds idealism; David
Duchovny stars as creator of a new autobiographical sitcom based partly on memories of a family suicide; Sigourney Weaver
as the network exec who junks the suicide theme and hires the worst possible actor (Fran Kranz) for the lead; Ioan Gruffudd
as her BBC-bred assistant who tries to save the series' integrity, but gets co-opted, too. Strong profanity; milder sexual
innuendo, sexual language; drinking; abuse of painkillers; a marijuana moment; suicide theme. Showbiz savvy teens 16 and older.)
"The Reaping" (Silly film borrows much from occult/religious thrillers such as "The Exorcist" (R, 1973), "Rosemary's
Baby" (R, 1968), and "The Omen" (R, 1976); despite nice atmospherics, it never makes chills of its own; Hilary Swank as an
ex-minister, now professor, who lost her faith after a tragedy and now debunks "miracles"; she and her assistant (Idris Elba)
go to a Louisiana town, asked by a local man (David Morrissey) to find scientific reasons their river has turned blood-red,
cattle are dying, frogs are falling from the sky (Old Testament-style plagues) so townsfolk won't kill a 12-year-old girl
(AnnaSophia Robb) they suspect of Satanism. Gun suicide; dreamlike, semiexplicit sexual situation; subtext about menstruation,
puberty; piles of dead cattle; swarming locusts, maggots; children endangered; fire and brimstone; profanity; drinking. 16
and older.)
"Shooter" (Rip-snorter action thriller (based on Washington Post film critic Stephen Hunter's novel,
"Point of Impact") moves so supercool-fast, audiences won't have time to trip over logical speed bumps; Mark Wahlberg as an
ex-Marine sniper who leaves the military after his superiors betray him on a secret mission; a civilian years later, he's
recruited by an ex-colonel (Danny Glover) to pre-empt a presidential assassination; betrayed again, he's framed as an assassin
and on the run; a rookie FBI agent (Michael Pena) and the widow of his Marine buddy (Kate Mara) help him. High-caliber shootings
with much blood, occasional gore; gun suicide; fingers, then arm shot off; do-it-yourself bullet removal; villain's implied
intention to commit rape; strong profanity; beer. Action fans 16 and up.)
(c) 2007, Washington Post Writers Group.
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COLUMBUS, Ohio (UPI) -- Couples with a strong marriage are better equipped to handle a fussy or
difficult baby, according to a study by Ohio State University.
The study, published in the journal Infant Behavior
& Development, found that a couple's relationship with each other was key in determining how they reacted as parents when
faced with a temperamental baby.
"When couples with a supportive marital relationship have a difficult baby, they
tend to rise to the challenge," study co-author Sarah Schoppe-Sullivan said in a statement. "Couples who don't have a strong
relationship with each other are more likely to undermine each other and get into conflicts when they have to deal with a
particularly challenging baby."
There have been studies examining how mothers deal with difficult babies, but this
study focused on how mothers and fathers work together as parents -- what researchers call the "coparenting relationship."
Copyright 2007 by United Press International
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Plan a summer trip to Jamestown
Take part in Jamestown's 400th anniversary celebration with a family vacation to Virginia -- ArcaMax
will help you plan it! Choose a hotel, find great historical restaurants, and more.
If you can't travel this summer, you can still read free books about Jamestown or play fun interactive games and quizzes.
Visit the Jamestown special feature.
-- From the ArcaMax editors
Today's Reader Submitted Photos
Mandatory bicycle helmets, fewer injuries
BRISBANE, Australia (UPI) -- Laws requiring people to wear bicycle helmets appear to increase
use and decrease injury rates, according to an Australian review.
The review, published in The Cochrane Review, found
that that there was a clear indication that helmet legislation saw a decrease in head injuries associated with increased use
of helmets.
Between 35 percent and 40 percent of children who are hospitalized after a cycling incident have head
injuries, says lead author Anneliese Spinks of the School of Medicine at Griffith University in Brisbane.
A previous
Cochrane Review found that bicycle helmets can reduce head injury by up to 88 percent and facial injury by 65 percent in all
ages, but many people do not use them.
Some countries such as Australia have tried mandating helmets for cyclists
of all ages.
"What is not clear, however, is whether the legislation caused fewer children to go out on their bikes,"
Spinks said in a statement. "It may be that the reductions in injuries were a result of children using bikes less; however,
there have been no high-quality studies that have tested this scenario."
Copyright 2007 by United Press International
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Read "The Adventures of Sherlock Homes" Free!
Sit down with a classic mystery, courtesy of the ArcaMax Book Club. Arthur Conan Doyle's Adventures of Sherlock Holmes is just one of more than 600 free books you can read online, either on the site or a chapter a day by e-mail.
If
you're looking for more, visit the Book Club, join a discussion in the Book Club Community, or sign up for the weekly Book Club ezine to keep up with our featured authors and newest available books.
Subscribe to "The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes" instantly.
Subscribe to the free New Books ezine instantly.
View the full list of books.
-- From the ArcaMax editors
Today's Reader Submitted Photos
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ROCHESTER, N.Y. (UPI) -- Almost 9 percent of child gamers are pathologically or clinically "addicted"
to playing video games, according to a U.S. survey.
However, 23 percent of youth say that they have felt "addicted
to video games," with about one-third of males and a little more than one in 10 females reporting the sensation, according
to the survey by Harris Interactive.
Forty-four percent of the youth 8 to 18 also reported their friends are addicted
to video games, the survey said.
The average child 8 to 12 plays 13 hours of video games per week, while teens ages
13 to 18 year play 14 hours of video games per week, according to the survey of 1,178 children.
Ninety-four percent
of all boys reported playing video games.
"It is important that people realize that playing a lot is not the same
thing as pathological play," Dr. Douglas Gentile, director of the Media Research Lab at Iowa State University, said in a statement.
"For something to be an addiction, it has to mean that you do it in such a way that it damages your life."
Copyright 2007 by United Press International
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Psychiatrists often miss dating violence
PROVIDENCE, R.I. (UPI) -- Most child and adolescent psychiatrists screen for suicide and drug
use, but only 21 percent screen for dating violence, found a U.S. study.
The study in the Journal of Interpersonal
Violence found 25 percent of female adolescents are reported to have experienced physical and/or sexual violence by a dating
partner.
Teens may not volunteer information about an abusive relationship for a variety of reasons. They may not
even recognize behavior in a partner as aggressive or abusive, and may even view it as a demonstration of love, according
to lead author Dr. Larry K. Brown, of the Bradley Hasbro Children's Research Center in Providence.
"Screening is the
first step in identification, diagnosis and proper treatment; it will lead to a reduction in further dating violence and proper
treatment for reactions to dating violence that has already happened," Brown said in a statement.
Copyright 2007 by United Press International
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ESA Sends a Crew to Mars
The European Space Agency will be running a simulated mission starting next spring to see if it
will be possible to launch a manned mission to Mars. Read more about the upcoming 500-day trial in ArcaMax Science & Technology.
For more headlines every weekday, sign up for the free Science & Technology ezine.
Subscribe to Science & Technology instantly.
Find out more before subscribing.
-- From the ArcaMax editors
Today's Reader Submitted Photos
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"Firehouse Dog" (PG, 1 hr., 51 min.)
No one is a bigger sucker for
movies about cute doggies than The Family Filmgoer, but this story of a lonely 12-year-old boy and the dog who becomes his
dad's firehouse mascot just sits up and begs too much. "Firehouse Dog" yowls for laughs, every gag bludgeoned home. And the
filmmakers rely way too much on doggie digestive jokes. (The canine hero suffers from loud flatulence and poops into
a pot of stew.) The dog's heroic stunt behaviors are digitally enhanced and look so fake as to kill any wonderment for special
effects-savvy kids. Yet the movie's premise has comic merit and the human performances are good (against all odds). So, lots
of kids 8 and older may find enough charm, thrills and laughter in "Firehouse Dog" to sit and stay for its nearly two-hour
running time. The last half-hour is mighty slow for those less enamored of the movie's hard sell.) Aside from toilet humor,
there are several intense fire-fighting scenes, with explosive smoke and flames and falling beams. The boy, the dog, and a
firefighter are trapped by fire at different times. There are subplots exploring grief, loss and bitterness over the boy's
mother having left long ago and about his firefighter uncle, who perished in a blaze.
Canine movie star Rex, an elegant
Irish terrier, falls out of a plane during a film stunt, lands in a truckload of tomatoes and starts exploring the town --
scruffy, smelly and without his extra-wavy hairpiece. He encounters Shane (Josh Hutcherson, of "Bridge to Terabithia," PG),
a sullen kid playing hooky. Rex causes Shane to get caught by his stern dad, Connor (Bruce Greenwood), a firehouse captain,
so Shane hates the pooch. In a series of improbable events, Rex displays agility and courage that inspire Connor and his dispirited
crew. The dog becomes their mascot and the boy soon grows to love him. But wait: there's an arsonist on the loose and Rex's
trainer (Dash Mihok) misses him.
P.S. FOR KIDS 8 AND OLDER: If you see "Firehouse Dog" and find it really fake
-- even the emotions in it -- but you like movies about dogs, you can try a couple of older movies. If you don't mind films
with some sadness in them, check out a wonderful boy-and-dog tale, "Sounder" (G, 1972), about a poor family in the South before
the Civil Rights era, or "My Dog Skip" (PG, 2000), about a shy boy and his dog in 1940s Mississippi. Both stories have sadness,
but they feel a lot more real than "Firehouse Dog."
"Are We Done Yet?" (PG, 1 hr., 32 min.)
Ice Cube still can't seem to temper his tough-guy persona with much warmth on-screen. His acting range barely arcs
from anger to annoyance and back -- a short trip. Still, this sequel to his 2005 family comedy, "Are We There Yet?," (also
a PG, though it deserved a PG-13), is a real improvement over the crass original. Though also loaded with slapstick, "Are
We Done Yet?" has better character development, fewer gratuitous crotch-kicks and a sunnier world view. And thank goodness
the child actors (Aleisha Allen and Philip Daniel Bolden) have outgrown the irritating archness they displayed in the first
film. More of a genuine PG, "Are We Done Yet?" is fine for kids 8 and older. It contains mild sexual innuendo and a chaste
romance between a 13-year-old girl and a slightly older boy. Also in the mix are scenes showing woodsy animals such as deer
and raccoons acting crazy, bats swarming, an owl swooping down to grab a chipmunk, a pigeon falling dead after being shot
(off-camera) with a nail gun, and a huge fish pulling a child under water with a fishing line (there is a quick rescue). Don't
forget the requisite dose of toilet humor and one shot of a "plumber's butt." This is a comedy about home renovation, after
all.
Based on the 1948 Cary Grant-Myrna Loy comedy "Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House," "Are We Done Yet?" has
sports writer and entrepreneur Nick Persons (Cube), now married to Suzanne (Nia Long), the divorcee he tried so hard to impress
in the first film. He moves with his new wife and stepkids (Allen and Bolden into a gorgeous old home that turns out to be
crumbling from within. The renovation tests the new family, and John C. McGinley milks every drop of comedy out of cheerful
Chuck, the real estate guy/contractor/electrician who practically moves in with them. He also knows midwifery (the better
for Suzanne when the twins she's carrying are born) and martial arts. Nick gets really jealous of him.
Beyond
the Ratings Game: Movie Reviews for various ages
-- 6 AND OLDER:
"Meet the Robinsons" G (Gorgeous
computer-animated feature (shown in crisp, colorful, non-scary 3-D at some theaters) celebrates imagination, individuality,
creating a family when you don't have one, in tale of bespectacled, spikey-haired 12-year-old inventor, Lewis; an orphan eager
to find his real mom, Lewis invents a "memory scanner"; Wilbur Robinson, a boy from the future, takes Lewis there -- a cheery
art deco-style future, which at darker moments looks more like the dehumanized world of Fritz Lang's 1927 silent classic,
"Metropolis." Lewis meets the riotously eccentric Robinson clan and feels loved. Baby abandoned on orphanage step; serious
theme handled humorously shows how childhood loneliness, sadness, failure can stalk us through life; "Bowler Hat Guy" villain
wears a hat that sprouts metal legs, chases folks; Lewis and Wilbur crash a time machine; rude taunts "puke-face" and "booger-breath";
dinosaur topiary comes to life, chases folks.)
-- 8 AND OLDER:
"Firehouse Dog" PG (NEW) (Heavy-handed
comedy nearly defeats a strong cast with its corny script, over-sold jokes and obvious special effects that spoil the wonderment;
a movie star Irish terrier, Rex, falls from a plane during a film stunt, lands safely in a tomato truck (minus his wavy hairpiece)
and endears himself to a firehouse crew in the nearby city with his agility and courage, becoming their mascot and winning
over the fire captain's (Bruce Greenwood) sullen 12-year-old son (Josh Hutcherson); but -- an arsonist is on the loose and
Rex's trainer (Dash Mihok) misses him. Too many doggie digestive jokes: Rex has noisy flatulence, poops into a pot of stew;
intense firefighting scenes with explosive smoke, flames, falling beams; boy, dog, and a firefighter are trapped at various
times, all rescued; subplots about grief, loss, anger over mother's abandonment of them, a firefighter uncle who died in a
blaze.)
"Are We Done Yet?" PG (NEW) (Less crass, more amusing sequel to Ice Cube's 2005 comedy "Are We There
Yet?" (PG, but deserved a PG-13); still acting within a narrow range (from annoyance to anger and back), Cube plays sports
writer/entrepreneur Nick, now married to Suzanne (Nia Long), the divorcee he pursued in the first film; with her and his new
stepkids (Aleisha Allen and Philip Daniel Bolden, both less arch and annoying than in the first film) he moves into a house
that needs major repairs; John C. McGinley is Nick's amusing, over-the-top foil as the ever-present real estate guy/contractor.
Mild sexual innuendo; chaste romance between 13-year-old girl and a slightly older boy; comic scenes with deer and raccoons
acting crazy; bats swarm; owl swoops to grab a chipmunk; pigeon falls dead after being shot (off-camera) with a nail gun;
huge fish pulls a child under water (a quick rescue); toilet humor; "plumber's butt.")
"TMNT" PG (First "Teenage
Mutant Ninja Turtle" feature since 1993 (also PGs in 1990, '91, '93), this time a fully computer-animated 'toon -- hard-edged
and homely, dimly lit, narratively murky, too violent for some under 10; the Ninja Turtles (mutated long ago by a pollutant
"ooze" and named for Italian Renaissance artists Leonardo, Michelangelo, Raphael and Donatello) have become estranged; their
sensei, Master Splinter, says they must reconcile before facing a new threat -- reanimated stone warriors from ancient Central
America; their archeologist pal April (voice of Sarah Michelle Gellar) and her boyfriend Casey Jones (Chris Evans) help. Semi-harsh
language ("snot kicked out of him"); tired ethnic stereotypes; off-color joke kids won't get refers subtly to phone-sex industry;
huge, looming red-eyed monsters, ancient warriors; battles not bloody, but big and loud.)
-- 10 AND OLDER:
"The
Last Mimzy" PG (Kids into science, idea of time travel will like film's neat premise, despite its messy, disjointed execution:
a 10-year-old (Chris O'Neil) and his little sister (Rhiannon Leigh Wryn) find a box on the beach, full of spinning, humming
rocks, holographic crystals, and a stuffed bunny that "talks" to the little girl about saving the world; their folks (Timothy
Hutton, Joely Richardson) and even Homeland Security are concerned. Too intense for some under 10: adult characters voice
9/11 paranoia; little girl gets hysterical when her mother throws out the magical "toys"; later the girl is nearly sucked
into a space/time vortex; kids levitate themselves, objects; they say things "suck" and hamburgers are "chopped-up cow"; two-headed
snake; roaches; federal agents drag family off for questioning; teacher lives with his girlfriend; talk of reincarnation.)
"Pride" PG (Terrence Howard is charismatic in uplifting, if overly teary-eyed drama about real-life swim coach
Jim Ellis and how he began coaching inner-city Philadelphia teens to swim competitively in the 1970s, helping to turn their
lives around despite poverty, racism; Bernie Mac as burned-out rec center maintenance man inspired by Ellis; Tom Arnold as
a bigoted rival coach. Realistic theme about evils of racism; occasional racial slurs; high level of profanity for a PG film
-- much use of the S-word; crude verbal joke about a broken condom; fistfight; rude hand gesture; a thug makes threats; women
who appear to be prostitutes.)
-- PG-13s:
"Blades of Glory" (Riotous, rude farce about figure skating
rivals Chazz (Will Ferrell) and Jimmy (Jon Heder), banned forever from competition for public scuffling; three years later,
a stalker/fan (Nick Swardson) and a veteran coach (Craig T. Nelson) note a loophole that would allow the two compete as the
first male/male duo. Constant R-ish verbal, visual sex jokes go beyond innuendo: crotch gags; references to Chazz's "sex addiction"
(he attends a lascivious support group, claims he had an affair with a 35-year-old woman when he was 9); much gay (at times
homophobic) humor; a towel worn dangerously low; drinking; talk of drug use; adoption spoof; incest joke; death threat; ice
stunt video ending in bloody accidental decapitation; profanity; toilet humor. Not for middle-schoolers.)
"Premonition"
(Sandra Bullock stranded in a dour, derivative, clumsily directed supernatural thriller about a woman who has a time-bending
flash-forward to news of her husband's (Julian McMahon) accidental death, then wakes the next day to find him alive; the cycle
repeats -- one day he's dead, the next alive; her sanity questioned, she tries to solve the mystery. Upsetting sense of numbing
grief, loss; brief glimpse of a severed head; fiery road crash; a bloodied decomposing crow; wounds on a child's face; someone
dragged screaming to a psychiatric ward, injected; child has a bad, but not life-threatening, accident; mild sexual innuendo
in marital scenes; rare strongish profanity; subtle allusions to infidelity, suicide; smoking; drinking; tranquilizers.)
--
R's:
"The Reaping" (NEW) (Silly film borrows much from occult/religious thrillers such as "The Exorcist" (R,
1973), "Rosemary's Baby" (R, 1968), and "The Omen" (R, 1976); despite nice atmospherics, it never conjures any chills of its
own; Hilary Swank as an ex-minister who lost her faith after a tragedy; now a professor who debunks "miracles"; she and her
assistant (Idris Elba) go to a remote Louisiana town, asked by a local teacher (David Morrissey) to find scientific reasons
their river has turned blood-red, cattle are dying, frogs are falling from the sky (i.e. the plagues of the Old Testament)
so townsfolk won't kill a 12-year-old girl (AnnaSophia Robb) they suspect of Satanism. Gun suicide; dreamlike, semiexplicit
sexual situation; subtext about menstruation, puberty; piles of dead cattle; swarming locusts, maggots; children endangered;
fire and brimstone; profanity; drinking. 6 and older.)
"The Hoax" (NEW; LIMITED RELEASE) (Richard Gere does
his best work yet in high-strung, elegant, pithy little film -- a fictionalized portrait of real-life literary scammer Clifford
Irving; film chronicles how, in the early 1970s, Irving wrote a bogus autobiography of Howard Hughes and fooled (at first)
his agent (Hope Davis) and top editors and publishers; (based on Irving's own novel about the affair); Alfred Molina as his
sweaty, guilt-wracked collaborator; Marcia Gay Harden as his much-lied-to wife. Strong profanity; drinking, smoking; marijuana;
nonexplicit bedroom scene with seminudity; brief violence. More for college kids.)
"Reign Over Me" (At last
a movie dealing with the emotional fallout of 9/11 with a resonant mix of pathos and humor -- writer/director Mike Binder's
painfully funny, imperfect effort; Alan (Don Cheadle), an upscale dentist, feels trapped in his perfect life (Jada Pinkett
Smith as his perfect wife); he runs into his old college roomie, Charlie (Adam Sandler -- adequate, but still doing his nasal
man-child shtick), who lost a wife and three children in the 9/11 attacks; Charlie buzzes around on a motorized scooter, blocks
out reality with rock music on earphones, plays video games, reacts violently when asked about his family; trying to help
him, Alan finds an outlet, too. Strong profanity; explicit sexual language; strong sexual innuendo; homophobic slur; gun brandished;
drinking. 16 and older.)
"Shooter" (Rip-snorter action thriller (based on Washington Post film critic Stephen
Hunter's novel, "Point of Impact") moves so supercool-fast, audiences won't have time to trip over logical speed bumps; Mark
Wahlberg as an ex-Marine sniper who leaves the military after his superiors betray him on a secret mission; a civilian years
later, he's recruited by an ex-colonel (Danny Glover) to pre-empt a presidential assassination; betrayed again, he's framed
as an assassin and on the run; a rookie FBI agent (Michael Pena) and the widow of his Marine buddy (Kate Mara) help him. High-caliber
shootings with much blood, occasional gore; gun suicide; fingers, then arm shot off; do-it-yourself bullet removal; villain's
implied intention to commit rape; strong profanity; beer. Action fans 16 and up.)
"300" (Stunning, digitally
enhanced, at times giggle-inducing, but mostly epic-feeling (and sounding) adaptation of graphic novel about Sparta's King
Leonidas (Gerard Butler) and the Battle of Thermopylae in 480 B.C., when he and 300 men faced Persian emperor Xerxes' army.
Stylized visuals make violence seem otherworldly, less gory, yet harrowing -- not for all high-school-age stomachs; spears,
daggers through guts, eyes; horses cut down; strongly implied rape -- camera cuts away before it becomes graphic; more explicit,
but stylized, sexual montage between Leonidas and his Queen (Lena Headey); back-view nudity; toplessness; subtle homoerotic
verbal references; mild curses. High-schoolers.)
(c) 2007, Washington Post Writers Group.
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WASHINGTON (UPI) -- When your kids went back to college after spring break, they may have also
gone back to putting on the pounds. But cramming for mid-terms doesn't have to include cramming the mouth with poor nutrition.
Just ask Megan and Jill Carle. They are young college kids themselves and the authors of "College Cooking" (Ten Speed
Press, $19.95), released in April.
"It's easy to put on the pounds. Even the food in the dining hall was fatty --
Chinese food, fried fatty foods, lots of pastas," Megan, 23, a recent graduate of Arizona State University, told Eat To Live.
"In general, if you're cooking for yourself, you can cook even healthier than Mom and Dad. You can make the same kind of food,
but super-healthy.
She and her sister Jill, still a junior at ASU, may be young, but they're already publishing veterans.
They've cornered the market in writing books to encourage young people to eat better by learning to cook. The sisters' first
book was "Teens Cook," and next, "Teens Cook Dessert." Their angle, of course, is that they're addressing their peers as equals,
not as nagging parents.
The sisters learned to cook from their mother, a cookery books editor. "We were always in
the kitchen," said Megan, "cooking snacky kind of stuff." Ideas for their two earlier books came from Megan looking for a
cookbook for an 8-year old cousin she was trying to teach to cook. She couldn't find anything that covered real meal recipes.
When their mother mentioned this to an editor, the invitation came for the girls to produce one themselves.
This latest
book was inspired by their desire to motivate fellow students to get off the Ramen noodle track. They wanted to show them
it was easy to make good proper food at college. Megan acknowledges, though, that she didn't have to depend just on a microwave
as her cooking medium.
"I was lucky. I was in an apartment with a whole kitchen," Megan said.
Not all students
are as fortunate. Aside from a couple of salads, the recipes -- which each come with a photograph so the student can see what
to expect -- do require a stove or a burner. But they don't require much skill. The first line of the first chapter, called
"Survival Cooking," reads, "If you can open a can, use a knife and boil water, you can handle these recipes."
Freshmen
will be comforted by the "Just Like Mom Makes" chapter, and aspiring Romeos could be motivated by "Impressing Your Date."
Friends are often drawn in by the sisters' cooking. "Most people just came by to eat," Megan says, "though one roommate
was a pretty good cook himself. We did get people to help cut. We always had people over. They'd come by and say, 'That smells
good!' So we always knew to make extra."
The book would make a constructive high school graduation gift for anyone
hoping to set their new college students off on the right foot with their eating-away-from-home habits. Helpful boxes appear
to the side of each recipe, some with food trivia, many with sound nutrition facts.
Next to Megan's recipe for Black
Beans and Rice With Recaito, it says, "Served separately, beans and rice lack the components necessary to make a complete
protein. But, when combined their protein value is equal to fish, poultry, or red meat. Dried beans are also rich in iron
and their high fiber content can help reduce blood cholesterol.
The introduction says: "This is the epitome of college
budget dishes. It's yummy, cheap, easy, and it even has complete protein. Recaito is a cilantro-flavored Mexican sauce that
can be found in the Mexican food aisle in most grocery stores. You could also make your own by chopping up fresh cilantro,
green pepper, onion, and garlic, but at $1.25 for enough to make this six times, I go for the jar."
-- Black Beans
and Rice With Recaito
-- Serves 4
Ingredients:
-- 2 cups water
-- 1 cup rice
-- 1
tablespoon olive oil
-- 3 tablespoons recaito
-- 2 (15-ounce) cans black beans
-- 1 (15-ounce) can
diced tomatoes
Directions:
-- Place the water in a saucepan and bring to a boil. Add the rice, cover, and
cook over low heat for 20 minutes, or until most of the water is absorbed. Remove from the heat and let stand for 5 minutes,
or until all of the water is absorbed.
-- Meanwhile, place the olive oil in a saucepan over medium heat and add the
recaito. Cook for 2 minutes, or until bubbly. Drain the beans and add to the pan. Add the tomatoes with their juice and stir
well. Cook for 15 minutes, or until most of the liquid is absorbed, and serve hot over the rice.
Copyright 2007 by United Press International
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Parents infect infants with whooping cough
CHAPEL HILL, N.C. (UPI) -- Parents, siblings, aunts and uncles and other relatives are responsible
for 75 percent of pertussis cases among infants, says a U.S. study.
Parents were the primary bacterial source of pertussis,
commonly known as whooping cough, in 55 percent of infants, according to the study published in the April issue of the Pediatric
Infectious Disease Journal.
The pertussis vaccination has reduced the number of reported cases in industrialized countries
by more than 95 percent since the 1950s, but the number of reported U.S. cases has tripled in the past two decades, according
to study author Dr. Annelies Van Rie of the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill School of Public Health in Chapel
Hill.
"It is troubling to learn that infants are often infected with pertussis by their own family members, who are
often unaware of having pertussis themselves, and in whom pertussis could have been prevented if they had received a pertussis
booster vaccination," Van Rie said in a statement.
Copyright 2007 by United Press International
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Several months back, I answered a question from a parent who was bemoaning that in her community,
structured activities for preschoolers have become the standard by which a mom is measured -- that is, the more activities
a preschooler is enrolled in, the better (more caring, responsible, forward-looking, and so on) the mom. My petitioner specifically
mentioned Kindermusik and Gymboree in her letter, to which I responded that while none of the activities in question were
harmful per se, the harm was in the fact that today's children, from earlier and earlier ages, are not obtaining the benefits
of sufficient unstructured imaginative play. The villains are well-intentioned adults who believe they must micromanage everything
children do in order for children to obtain full benefit.
I pointed out that kids seem to have gotten along fine before
adults decided they could not figure out how to play on their own. In the process of directing their own play, they learned
social skills, including negotiation and conflict resolution, that today's kids miss. I also mentioned that no one has yet
demonstrated what disadvantage, exactly, accrues to a child whose preschool years are absent these exercises in micromanagement.
Although I did not mention Kindermusik in my reply, the nerves of Kindermusik teachers nationwide were scratched. Nearly one
hundred of them sent me emails (of which half looked suspiciously similar). Some tried to educate me as to the value of Kindermusik
and some just wanted to vent.
I am revisiting that column to make perfectly clear that I stand firm on the issue.
I don't really care how supposedly valuable any given preschool activity is; I am continually and permanently disturbed by
the fact that so few of today's kids are being allowed to just play. Instead, their discretionary time is organized and directed
by adults who all sincerely believe they are on an anointed mission to "improve" them. The unintended consequence is that
these children are being deprived of the full benefit of childhood. As they grow, the problem of adult over-involvement only
worsens until the teen years, by which time kids don't know how to make creative use of their time, so they turn to such mind-numbing
activities as video games.
Shortly after that column appeared, psychologist David Elkind's (The Hurried Child) latest
book, The Power of Play (Da Capo Lifelong Books, 2006, $24.00), hit the shelves. I don't generally review books because I
don't want publishers inundating me with requests to do so, but I'm going to break with policy in this case (and endure the
consequences). I think every parent should read this book. In fact, I'm making it an assignment, and there will be a test
on Monday.
Elkind says play is being "silenced" by adult-organized activities, television, video games, and an over-emphasis
on academics that has led to the shortening (and in some cases elimination) of recess and physical education. He makes a coherent,
readable, and altogether fascinating case for adults who are childhood-friendly instead of focused on making sure their kids
participate in every "advantage" available.
What it boils down to is that most adults no longer possess a sense of
proper boundaries where kids are concerned. They seem to believe that the more involved they are, the better. By contrast,
when I was a child, it was my job to keep my parents from getting involved. If I accepted and properly discharged my academic
responsibilities, they didn't get involved, and what a wonderful thing that was for them and me both. If I conducted myself
properly outside the home, they didn't get involved, and what a wonderful thing that was for them and me both. If I did my
chores properly and on time, they didn't get involved, and what a wonderful thing that was for them and me both.
Low
adult involvement is still a wonderful, liberating thing for both adult and child. In the most compelling way possible, David
Elkind recommends that you give it a try, and I second that emotion.
*About the Author: John Rosemond has written
nine best-selling parenting books and is one of America's busiest and most popular speakers, known for his sound advice, humor
and easy, relaxed, engaging style. In the past few years, John has appeared on numerous national television programs including
20/20, Good Morning America, The View, Bill Maher's Politically Incorrect, Public Eye, The Today Show, CNN, and CBS Later
Today.
Click here to visit Rosemond's Web site, www.rosemond.com.
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Plan a Trip to Colonial Williamsburg
Drop in on the Jamestown 400th Anniversary celebration, and stop by Colonial Williamsburg to see even more historical (and modern) sights!
ArcaMax will help you plan your
family vacation to Colonial Williamsburg, and even give you dining and hotel suggestions along the way.
Visit the Jamestown 400th Anniversary special feature
Also -- Our partners at the New Yorker are having a 20 percent off March Madness sale on apparel, books and original art -- for today only.
Important: You must use the MADMARCH coupon code upon checking out to get the discount.
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Q. I have a 4-year-old daughter who won't sleep alone. We put her to bed in our room so she won't
wake her sister. Even in our room, she still wakes up crying and asks me to lie in her bed with her. My husband and I argue
about this a lot. I tell her she's a big girl and should sleep by herself.
We have a four-bedroom house with two bedrooms
upstairs, and I didn't want her upstairs because we're downstairs. Nevertheless, we asked her if she wanted her room upstairs,
and she said she did. We decorated the room just the way she liked it and tried to get her to sleep there. She was excited
until it was time to go to bed, and then she was scared and didn't want to sleep there. We gave her a nightlight and leave
the hall light on. Please help.
A. Although I believe your daughter is truly frightened, I also think she's manipulating
you. The more you and your husband argue about where she sleeps, the more she'll "pull your chain."
You can give your
daughter two choices: She can sleep with her sister if she promises not to cry at night, or she can sleep in her own room,
full light, quiet music and an intercom so she knows you can hear her. She'll probably choose her sister, at least at first.
If she chooses her room, you can gate your room and make it absolutely off limits for her. If she cries at the gate,
respond once, telling her to go back to her room and that you'll come in to comfort her. If she returns to her room, sit with
her a few minutes, but don't take her out of bed with you. If she doesn't go back to her room, let her cry, and she'll soon
fall asleep on the floor outside your door for the night. After two or three nights, she'll stay in her own bed and get over
her fear. I know this will be difficult for all of you, but she'll soon feel like a much more courageous and confident child.
For a free newsletter about raising preschoolers or parents maintaining a united front, send a large, self-addressed,
stamped envelope to P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI, 53094.
Q. I'm a high-school teacher and have encountered teenage girls
sucking their thumbs or using pacifiers. I've been startled by this and wonder why this is taking place and how to approach
the problem. Do you have any suggestions or information for me?
A. Teens sometimes use pacifiers to avoid involuntary
teeth clenching, a side effect of "club drugs" such as ecstasy. I'm not sure that the thumb sucking has the same origin, but
there's a reasonable chance that teenage thumb-suckers are trying to be less obvious. Your observations aren't likely to be
regressions to babyhood for any particular teen, but are topics for principals and counselors to be studying in your school.
Pacifiers are often used at "rave parties" where drugs are plentiful. If teens in your school are using pacifiers
obviously, I expect they consider them to be as cool as they do drug use. Thanks for sharing your observations. We'll hope
this alerts other parents, teachers and administrators to a potential problem.
For a free newsletter about "Growing
Up Too Fast -- Teens," send a large self-addressed, stamped envelope to P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI 53094 or go to www.sylviarimm.com
for more information.
Dr. Sylvia B. Rimm is the director of the Family Achievement Clinic in Cleveland, Ohio, a clinical
professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine, and the author of many books
on parenting. More information on raising kids is available at www.sylviarimm.com. Please send questions to: Sylvia B. Rimm
on Raising Kids, P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI 53094 or srimm@sylviarimm.com. To read features by other Creators Syndicate writers
and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
Copyright 2007 Creators Syndicate Inc.
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Ten Beauty Tips for Pregnant Women
By Jennifer Polimino, C.P.T.
Pregnancy has always been a beautiful miracle. But now it's considered sexy, too. When Vanity
Fair put Demi Moore's apparently nude, very pregnant body on the cover of their magazine in 1991, it made a lasting statement
that said a woman could be both pregnant and gorgeous.
If you're not ready to show off quite that much, don't worry.
Here are ten beauty tips that will help make you look and feel good while you're pregnant.
1. Show off your legs.
In summer, shorts and sundresses never looked better. In winter, a mini skirt with tights and flat shoes are fashionable.
2. For a special evening out, a pair of stretch-waist black velvet pants and a swingy top looks romantic, even elegant.
This is the time you can wear a nice v-neck and show off your new, voluptuous cleavage.
3. Raid your man's closet
for a shirt. Roll up the sleeves and add a piece of jewelry for a feminine touch. Or not. Menswear is long and lose, perfect
for pregnancy.
4. Treat yourself to a new bra. Being pregnant means your old size won't work anymore, because you
can gain up to five pounds in your breasts. For most women, a bra with wide set straps that are not too thin helps give much-needed
support. Not only is this important to prevent sagging, but wearing the correct size bra will make your clothes look better,
too.
5. Add some highlights to your hair. All-over hair color, like dying or bleaching, is not recommended while you're
pregnant, because your scalp absorbs some of the chemicals. (It can be identified in urine.) But adding highlights is safe,
because the hair color is applied one-half to one inch from your scalp, so chemicals cannot get into your blood stream.
6.
Keep your skin supple with pure cocoa butter. Using a natural moisturizer on your stomach and breasts is safe, and it will
help prevent, or at least minimize, stretch marks. Equally important is maintaining a slow, gradual weight gain so your skin
doesn't stretch too rapidly.
7. Forget those old fashioned tent tops that make you look even bigger than you are.
It's now fashionable to flaunt your baby tummy, and stretchy tops and empire waists are flattering. Being pregnant is sexy!
8. Get a pair of pretty ballerina flats. In France, and around Hollywood, they're all the rage with pregnant and not-pregnant
women alike. Invest in a good pair that provides arch support and is made of a breathable material like leather or canvas.
A pair of shoes that has a low, wide heel (one to one-and-a-half inches) is also a good choice. Remember, you may need a larger
or wider shoe size while you're pregnant, so try them on before you buy.
9. Wearing a monochrome outfit (all one color)
or clothing with vertical lines creates an illusion of length and is flattering for all body types.
10. Buy a chic
new handbag. It will make you look fashionable, and you don't have to worry about outgrowing it later!
And finally,
everybody looks better when they're rested and healthy. Get enough sleep, exercise, and "eat clean." This is no time for unhealthy
junk foods that make you feel sluggish and do your baby no good either. And remember, there are beauty advantages to being
pregnant, too.
The "beauty glow" of pregnancy has science to back it up. The increased blood volume and circulation
during pregnancy enhances your skin and makes it beautifully luminescent. And thanks to hormonal changes, brittle nails become
stronger, and hair becomes shinier. One last thing: never underestimate the radiance that comes from being happy. Many expectant
moms say they've never felt more beautiful or more alive than when they are pregnant!
*About the Author: Jennifer
Polimino is the author of the book "Slim Mom Secrets: How to Have a Happy, Healthy Pregnancy and Baby." She also has a FREE
Healthy Pregnancy Coaching Club at www.SlimMomCoach.com and she publishes a FREE online Healthy Pregnancy Tips newsletter, available at www.SlimMomSecrets.com.
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LONDON (UPI) -- Just 15 minutes running after a ball could take a child off the path to obesity,
a new study has found.
It's the latest in a series of continuing investigations by one of the most prestigious research
groups looking at the links between child health, diet and lifestyle: the "Children of the 90s" study, which is based at Bristol
University, England.
While parents should concern themselves in assuring their children are given a healthy diet,
they should also, it appears, attend to their lifestyle.
The study confirms the difference between an obese and a
healthy child could be as simple as 15 minutes of exercise that need only be spirited enough to draw a light sweat.
Since
the 1980s, childhood obesity has increased dramatically both in the United Kingdom and the United States, with around one-quarter
of British children between 11 and 15 either obese or overweight. Since the 1970s, obesity in U.S. children between 6 and
11 has almost tripled.
Backed by Britain's The Wellcome Trust and the Medical Research Council, the study began, in
1991, looking at more than 14,500 pregnant women, their partners and their children from Avon in Southwest England. Researchers
monitored them on a regular basis to establish whether their health was influenced by their genes and their upbringing.
Over
the years, samples of the children's hair, nails and milk teeth, as well as blood and samples from the umbilical cord, have
allowed researchers to track their genetic data and test for links between the environment and genes.
By regularly
weighing the children from age 7 on, researchers have found the danger of becoming obese could be cut in half if the kids
exercised enough in 15 minutes to render them slightly out of breath.
In the simplest terms, all this would amount
to is leaving the car in the garage and making them take a brisk walk to school or playing a brief but vigorous ball game
after school lets out.
To get the most accurate monitoring, 5,500 12-year-olds were fitted with meters around their
waists, which they wore during all their waking hours except while bathing or showering and measured how much exercise they
took. The researchers used X-ray emission scanning to calculate body fat. This can distinguish between fat and muscle, and
is more precise to gauge fat levels than the commonly used body mass index.
Bath University Professor Chris Riddoch
led the research with "Children of the 90s" co-director Professor Andy Ness and his team at Bristol.
"This study provides
some of the first robust evidence on the link between physical activity and obesity in children," Riddoch said in a statement.
"We know diet is important, but what this research tells us is that we mustn't forget about activity. It's been really
surprising to us how even small amounts of exercise appear to have dramatic results."
The research, which appears
in the online journal PLoS Medicine, reports the boys who were the most active were more than 30 times less likely to be obese
than those who were sedentary. Girls apparently can get by with less activity than boys -- 16 minutes to boys' 25 minutes.
Research shows children's calorie intakes over the years have not increased -- which would suggest the rising obesity
rates are the result of less activity. The car, the computer, the games consoles and television take more of children's time
these days than outdoor activities. With spring around the corner, it's a good time of year to start pushing them outdoors
and walking them energetically to school.
Fifteen to 30 minutes of exercise is little enough, so adults can't make
excuses because of time constraints. Parents might even be persuaded to join in and benefit their health, too.
But
don't forget about diet. Ban fried foods. Brush meat, chicken, fish and vegetables very lightly with vegetable oil before
broiling. Don't add butter as a flavor to finished dishes like mashed potatoes or steamed vegetables. You don't want to make
food and eating a dreary event, however. Try these on your kids.
Surprise fish or chicken parcels
--
For each serving
-- 1 4-ounce fillet of firm white fish, salmon or chicken breast
-- 1/3 cup leeks, white
part only, finely sliced lengthways
-- 1/3 cup fennel root, finely sliced with a potato peeler julienned fennel bulb
-- 1/3 cup French beans
-- 1 lemon, scrubbed, half finely sliced, the other half juiced
-- Small handful
fresh flat-leaf parsley, roughly chopped
-- Freshly ground black pepper and salt to taste
-- A piece of parchment
paper, 6 inches by 12 inches, folded in half
-- Preheat oven to 400 F.
-- Open out the parchment paper and
lay the vegetables on it, season, then the fish or chicken on top.
-- Season the fish or chicken, sprinkle over the
parsley then spritz with the lemon juice before layering over a few slices of the lemon.
-- Double fold over the edges
to make a sealed parcel, lay it on a baking sheet and bake in the oven 10 minutes for the fish and 20 for a chicken breast.
-- Slide onto a warmed plate and carefully cut open the parcel with a pair of scissors.
Copyright 2007 by United Press International
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School-based program cuts kid cavities
NEW ORLEANS (UPI) -- A U.S. school-based program that gives children oral-health education, dental
exams, cleanings and preventive care reduced cavities by 50 percent.
The program, called ForsythKids, resulted in
a 50-percent reduction of cavities after one round of treatment in kids who participated. After two rounds, there was virtually
no new tooth decay.
The findings were presented by Boston-based Forsyth Institute scientists at the 85th General Session
of the International Association for Dental Research in New Orleans.
"Our initial studies have shown that you can
effectively prevent, what is today, the most common childhood disease -- tooth decay," Richard Niederman, director of the
Center for Evidence-Based Dentistry at The Forsyth Institute, said in a statement.
"Just two weeks ago we saw a terrible
tragedy in the national news about a tooth infection that led to the untimely death of a 12-year-old boy, who like thousands
of other children, did not have access to dental care."
Copyright 2007 by United Press International
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Dill pickles dipped in chocolate ice cream... peeled lemons with salt... sardines and olives...
people are amused by a pregnant woman's odd food cravings.
You may wonder, What is my body trying to tell me? And
sometimes, that is the case-your body is craving something it needs, like calcium, potassium, or more protein. Other times,
it's a mystery why you crave what you do.
Cravings are not harmful as long as they're healthy. There's nothing wrong
with eating watermelon every day or having a peanut butter and banana sandwich once in awhile. The problem may come if eating
too much of a good thing leads to gaining too much weight. That's likely to happen if you happen to crave ice cream sundaes
and glazed donuts, and you let those high calorie foods get the best of you. But that doesn't have to happen.
You
can take steps to get cravings under control and gain only the amount of weight that is healthy for you. (Research has shown
that gaining too much weight puts you, and your unborn baby, at risk.) Here are seven tips to help you win the battle over
those constant and sometimes annoying cravings:
1. Eat natural, unprocessed foods.
Fresh fruits, vegetables
and lean meats are healthier, take more time to digest, keep you feeling full longer, and stave off cravings. On the other
hand, highly processed foods such as donuts, candy bars, ice cream, and white bread are stripped of their nutrient content.
Even though they may be tempting, these foods are the ones that spike your blood sugar and then send it crashing, zapping
your energy and creating a never-ending cycle for cravings that lead to increased body fat. Therefore, it's best to limit
your intake of these to an occasional splurge snack and concentrate on eating natural, healthy foods instead.
2. Eat
five mini meals, spaced three hours apart.
By spreading your meals over five mini-meals, rather than two or three
large meals, you stabilize your blood sugar levels (which stops fat storage), you jump start your energy levels (instead of
feeling sluggish and tired), and ward off cravings--all things you need when you're pregnant. This eating schedule has even
been recommended in prestigious scientific journals such as the Journal of the American Medical Association.
3. Drink
water throughout the day, at least 10 glasses.
Some women report having an insatiable desire for ice when they're
pregnant, but even if you don't, your body needs lots of water, because water is absolutely vital during pregnancy. Water
carries nutrients through your blood to your baby. Water is also great for helping prevent bladder infections (common during
pregnancy), constipation, and hemorrhoids. During the third trimester, dehydration can even cause contractions that may trigger
premature labor.
Water also helps flush out toxins that can be released when fat is burned for energy, and it is involved
in every metabolic function in your body. Yet another important thing to keep in mind about water-it makes up 75 percent of
muscle tissue, so it's vital for the development of your baby.
The key is to drink water even when you're not thirsty,
because by the time your body "signals" you that it's thirsty, you're already too low.
4. Get regular physical exercise.
Studies have showed that women who walked for 30 minutes a day were better able to cope with their emotions and handle
challenges that came up during the day. Walking is considered safe for pregnant women, even for those who previously have
not exercised. Other good aerobic activities are swimming, prenatal yoga classes, and riding a recumbent bike. As one woman
said, laughing, "I can't eat while I'm exercising!"
5. Take your prenatal vitamins faithfully.
Getting the
vitamins you need nourishes your baby, yourself, and helps keep cravings away. When you get an overwhelming desire for a Big
Mac and fries, it's not that your body needs that particular food. More likely, it's trying to tell you that you need more
protein, sodium, or potassium. Prenatal vitamins help provide the nutrients you need on a consistent basis.
6. When
you're done eating, get busy doing something else.
Go for a walk, organize the baby's room, read a good book, or anything
else that gets your mind off of food. Don't feed your emotions by consuming extra calories. Writing in a journal can help
you deal with the ups and downs of being pregnant and even provide valuable insight as you look back over what you've written.
7. Report any bizarre cravings to your health care provider.
A condition known as pica is an overwhelming
craving for a nonfood item such as clay, dirt, or laundry starch. Peter S. Bernstein, MD, MPH, medical director of obstetrics
and gynecology at the Comprehensive Family Care Center in N.Y. said, "I've had women and their babies develop lead poisoning
from eating dirt during pregnancy; the neurological damage can be overwhelming."
The cause for this unhealthy craving
may be an iron or zinc deficiency. If you have pica, your doctor can test you to see what you need and give you relief.
The
good news for all expectant women who yearn for a particular food is that you don't have to go without some satisfaction.
If you're craving something with a lot of sugar and calories, try substituting something healthy that will give your body
the nutrition it's asking for.
For example, instead of having ice cream, have non-fat yogurt. Instead of donuts, have
whole wheat toast with fresh fruit jam. Instead of a slice of cake, have low-fat banana bread. Pass on the sugary cola drinks
and opt for mineral water with fruit juice or lime.
These ideas can help you start thinking in the right direction.
Once you understand what your body really needs, you can take control. And if you happen to be one of the lucky 10 percent
who craves vegetables like broccoli and spinach, then go ahead and give in to your desires. For the other 90 percent, a bit
of knowledge and a big dollop of coping skills go a long way.
*About the Author: Jennifer Polimino is the author of
the book "Slim Mom Secrets: How to Have a Happy, Healthy Pregnancy and Baby." She also has a FREE Healthy Pregnancy Coaching
Club at www.SlimMomCoach.com and she publishes a FREE online Healthy Pregnancy Tips newsletter, available at www.SlimMomSecrets.com.
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Toddlers observe others for behavior cues
SEATTLE (UPI) -- A University of Washington study found toddlers engage in what is described as
"emotional eavesdropping" -- observing adults to shape their own behavior.
The findings in the journal Child Development
indicate infants understand other people's emotional states at a very young age.
Betty Repacholi and Andrew Meltzoff
of the University of Washington Institute for Learning and Brain Sciences say the study shows children have their emotional
antenna up at all times.
"The fascinating result of this study is how sensitive toddlers are to the emotional dynamics
of the interactions around them," Meltzoff said in a statement.
"They don't need to try out a behavior of their own
and get rewarded or punished, they can watch what an older brother or sister does and learn from what happens to them."
Copyright 2007 by United Press International
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MOTIVATED ALCHOLICS CAN BE SUCCESSFULLY TREATED
QUESTION: You listed alcoholism
as a marriage killer. My husband has that problem. It has created a great deal of pain in our home, and I am concerned about
the emotional welfare of my children. Can it be treated, and is there hope for families like mine?
DR. DOBSON: Alcoholism
is a devastating disease, not only for the person who has it, but for his or her entire family. Research shows that 40 percent
of people living in Western nations have a close family member who is an alcoholic. That incidence is even higher in Russia
and other countries of Eastern Europe. There is no way to calculate the impact of this problem on children, on spouses, and
on the culture itself. Fortunately, it can be treated successfully for those who are willing to seek that help.
A
few years ago I discussed the issue of alcoholism with a panel of knowledgeable people on the Focus on the Family radio broadcast.
Included were Dr. Keith Simpson, a physician who has treated this problem for 20 years, and Jerry Butler, a marriage and family
therapist with 25 years of counseling experience. His own father had committed suicide during one of his drunken binges. Also
with me were "Bob," a recovered alcoholic, and his wife, "Pauline," who preferred that we withhold their real names.
I
did not ask these four individuals for a detailed analysis of alcoholism; our listeners already knew how serious it is. Rather,
I wanted them to provide us with practical suggestions as to how family members can recognize the disease and then be of help
to those they love. The answers they gave were most encouraging and enlightening.
Dr. Simpson was asked whether alcoholism
can be treated successfully today. Is it a hopeless condition, or is there a way out for the victim and his family? This was
his reply:
"I specialized in the field of internal medicine for many years, but found it to be depressing work. I
could help my patients with chronic lung disease and severe diabetes and heart disease, but in reality, my efforts were just
a delaying action. Over time, conditions worsened and the diseases progressed. I made my rounds in intensive care each day
and watched people losing their battle for life, whereas my alcoholic patients were getting well.
"That's why I deal
almost exclusively with alcoholics now, and I find it to be extremely rewarding work. I see people who come in with more horrible
problems than you can imagine, but they get into a recovery program, and in a few months the difference is like going from
night to day. So yes, not only is alcoholism treatable, but the medical community does better with this disorder than any
other chronic disease. Alcoholics emerge from treatment programs more functionally integrated, more capable and more effective
than before they 'caught' the disease."
That was the theme of the entire discussion: There is hope for the alcoholic!
But before recovery can begin, the problem has to be acknowledged and treatment sought. That applies to your own family situation,
I'm sure. Your husband can be helped if he has "the want to."
QUESTION: I've been aware of my husband's unfaithfulness for some time now. I've taken
him to task for it, which has resulted in some incredible, horrible battles. I have even made demands that he stop his infidelity,
yet no changes in his attitude and behavior have happened. What am I doing wrong?
DR. DOBSON: I'm afraid you've made
the common mistake of misunderstanding the difference between expressions of anger and loving toughness. Simply becoming angry
and throwing temper tantrums is no more effective with a spouse than it is with a rebellious teenager. Screaming, accusing
and berating are rarely successful in changing the behavior of human beings of any age. What is required is a course of action
-- an ultimatum that demands a specific response and results in a consequence. Then you must have the courage to deliver on
the promise.
Dr. Dobson is founder and chairman of the board of the nonprofit organization Focus on
the Family, P.O. Box 444, Colorado Springs, CO. 80903; or www.family.org. Questions and answers are excerpted from "The Complete Marriage and Family Home Reference Guide" and "Bringing Up Boys,"
both published by Tyndale House.
COPYRIGHT 2007 JAMES DOBSON INC.
COPYRIGHT 2006 JAMES DOBSON INC. This feature may not be reproduced or
distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of uclick and Universal Press Syndicate.
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Make Delicious Meals That Are Healthy, Too!
Just because you're watching what you eat doesn't mean you can't enjoy it! Every week, ArcaMax's
Healthy Recipes ezine features three simple, healthy dishes, as well as recent health studies.
The daily Recipes bundle features even more free recipes, bringing you great new meal ideas every day of the week.
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Parents frequently ask if I have written books on adjective-children (e.g. adopted children) or
adjective-families (e.g. blended families), which indicates they think either (1) one's approach to child rearing must be
customized to the adjective that is one's child or (2) the rules for operating a family-with-adjective are different than
those for operating a family constituted without adjective. The truth is that such unique child-rearing formulas and rules
do not exist outside of therapy and book publishing, both of which profit from leading the public to think otherwise. A child
is a child, and a family is a family.
Unfortunately, books on how to raise the (insert adjective) child and how to
operate the (insert adjective) family abound. These books do not clarify anything; they confound. They add to the already
overwhelming cacophony of babble that surrounds the relatively simple, straightforward, and commonsensical task of raising
children, which is why raising children has become (all of the women in my audiences agree) the single most stressful and
anxiety-ridden thing a female will undertake in her entire life. Because of said books, many parents think adjectives are
more significant than the words child and family. These parents think they are raising adopteds and onlys and middles and
attention-deficit-disorders and bipolars and learning-disableds and so on, the inevitable consequences of which include adjective
anxiety, disciplinary paralysis, and atrophy of the commonsense gland. Needless to say, parents who fit this description also
have great difficulty bringing any humor to the child-rearing process.
All children should be raised according to
common principles, foremost of which is that parents should balance love and discipline in training children toward becoming
productive, responsible members of society. Maintaining said balance requires that a parent's love be disciplined and that
discipline reflect love and desire for the best interests of the child. Commonsense wraps itself neatly around the word "child";
it does not wrap itself well at all around words like "adopted." Adjectives are much more slippery than nouns, after all.
As a child is a child, a family is a family. The First Rule of Family Living is that the husband-wife relationship
trumps all other family relationships. Husband and wife should pay far more attention to one another than they do the children;
they should do more for one another than they do for the children; their relationship should be more active than the relationship
either of them has with any child. In other words, marriage comes before family and family comes before children, in blendeds
as well as non-blendeds, Amen.
If the family is headed by a parent who is single (note: as opposed to a single-parent
family) the parent needs to have active extra-family relationships as well as an array of active interests that do not include
his/her kids. This helps the children understand that their relationship with their dad/mom is not a substitute marriage.
A blended-wife/mother recently asked me for an example of what she could do to let her daughter know that her marriage
came first.
"The next time your daughter asks you permission to do something," I said, "tell her that you'll ask her
stepfather about it when he gets home."
She laughed and said, "That'll blow her mind." If so, it's high time for the
blowing to commence.
I spoke with authority on the subject because I was raised in what is today called a "blended
family." I called my stepfather "Dad," I suppose because I intuitively realized that he was more of a father to me than he
was a step-anything. Besides, children should not be allowed to call adults by their first names, so anything but "Dad" was
out of the question. Likewise, I referred and still refer to the children of both my mother's and father's second marriages
as my brothers and sisters. That made for, and continues to make for, a much simpler view of life not to mention more rewarding
family relationships. That also makes me the oldest child in two families, an honor most people cannot claim.
*About
the Author: John Rosemond has written nine best-selling parenting books and is one of America's busiest and most popular speakers,
known for his sound advice, humor and easy, relaxed, engaging style. In the past few years, John has appeared on numerous
national television programs including 20/20, Good Morning America, The View, Bill Maher's Politically Incorrect, Public Eye,
The Today Show, CNN, and CBS Later Today.
Click here to visit Rosemond's Web site, www.rosemond.com.
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March Madness Heats up this weekend
Subscribe to the ArcaMax Sports Update ezine and you'll receive the most current news and NCAA basketball news and scores. The tournament is heating up -- so subscribe
today.
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"The Last Mimzy" (PG, 1 hr., 30 min.)
Kids 10 and older into physics,
astronomy, math, and/or the idea of time travel are ideal customers for "The Last Mimzy," even though the film is a bit of
a mess. Despite charming child actors and a cool central idea, the movie trips over a convoluted narrative, extraneous details
and adult characters exuding 9/11 paranoia. It is also scary and emotionally harrowing at times, and too intense for many
kids under 10. We see a little girl nearly sucked into a space/time vortex. We see her become nearly hysterical when her mother
throws out the magical new "toys" she and her brother have found. The movie shows the kids levitating themselves, moving objects
just by thinking and communicating telepathically with each other and a seemingly inert stuffed rabbit. There is also talk
of the world ending. Kid characters say things "suck" and that hamburgers are made of "chopped-up cow." We also see a two-headed
snake, spiders and cockroaches. On a less icky level, "The Last Mimzy" has FBI agents invading a home and carting a family
off for questioning under the Patriot Act, which could disturb kids (let alone adults).
"The Last Mimzy" is
based on a 1943 short story, its title taken from Lewis Carroll's poem "Jabberwocky" in "Through the Looking-Glass." In the
film, 10-year-old Noah (Chris O'Neil) and his little sister Emma (Rhiannon Leigh Wryn) find a carved box on the beach containing
crystals, stones and other objects that float, spin, make whirring noises and seem ready to do much more. There's also a stuffed
rabbit. Soon Noah builds genius science projects and Emma claims she's talking to the rabbit, Mimzy, about saving the world.
Their parents (Joely Richardson and Timothy Hutton) take notice and so does Homeland Security.
P.S. FOR KIDS 10
AND ODLER: The little girl Emma in "The Last Mimzy" talks a lot about the books "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" and "Through
the Looking-Glass" by Lewis Carroll -- two great books.
"TMNT" (PG, 1 hr., 29 min.)
After
a 14-year hiatus from feature films, the "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" are back from the world of TV 'toons. That the three
PG-rated animated features of yore ("Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" in 1990, followed by sequels in 1991 and 1993) are now
joined by "TMNT" is less than a joyous event. The new computer-animated film is dimly lit, hard-edged, mechanical-looking
and too violent on the big screen for some kids under 10. Its plot is also very confusing -- at least for adults. It includes
semi-harsh language ("the snot kicked out of him"), tired ethnic stereotypes (of people in Central America, playing right
into the current immigration debate) and a weird joke most kids won't get, which seems to refer to phone sex lines. The monsters
and stone warriors key to the plot loom huge over the TMNTs, eyes glowing. Some look like giant bats, spiders, lobsters, or
a cross between a gorilla and a wild boar. There are plot points about ancient monsters or warriors taking over the world.
The fights are not portrayed as bloody, but they are big and loud.
The film finds the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles,
or TMNTs (long ago morphed into powerful turtle-men by a polluted "ooze" and named for Italian Renaissance artists Leonardo,
Donatello, Michelangelo and Raphael), a little estranged. Leo has been sent away by Master Splinter to hone his leadership
skills. He returns when the Turtles' archeologist pal April (voice of Sarah Michelle Gellar) brings an ancient artifact from
Central America for secretive museum director Max Winters (Patrick Stewart). It seems to reanimate 3,000-year-old stone warriors
and other monsters -- or something. But first the Turtles must reconcile and prove they can again act as one to fight evil.
"Pride" (PG, 1 hr., 44 min.)
Terrence Howard stars in this fact-based saga as swim coach
Jim Ellis, who has taught inner-city Philadelphia kids to swim competitively since the early 1970s. Disjointed, heavy-handed
and often too teary-eyed, "Pride" works anyway, because it is a modest film that focuses more on character than on slow-motion
sports-movie glitz shots (though there's some of that, too). Kids 10 and older who like character-driven tales could find
"Pride" pretty inspiring. It dramatizes Ellis' early years, not only as a coach but a mentor, trying to get teen athletes
to take the sport seriously, avoid street life and learn discipline. They encounter blatant racism when facing other teams,
much of it embodied in a bigoted coach played by Tom Arnold. (This is prefigured in a prologue showing Ellis booed by a white
Southern crowd at a 1964 college swim meet, where he scuffles with a cop.) That theme, plus occasional racial slurs in the
dialogue and a high level of profanity for a PG film -- numerous S-words -- make "Pride" iffy for kids under 10. The film
has a rude joke about a broken condom and shows a fistfight, a local thug making threats, and women who seem to be prostitutes.
Struggling after college, Ellis finally gets hired by the city of Philadelphia to close down an old rec center in
a rough neighborhood. Instead, he fills up the pool and starts training teens. The young actors are strong, as are Bernie
Mac as the center's burned-out maintenance man and Kimberly Elise as a city councilwoman whose brother swims for Ellis.
Beyond the Ratings Game: Movie Reviews for various ages
-- 8 AND OLDER:
"TMNT" PG
(NEW) (First "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle" computer-animated feature since 1993 (there were three, in 1990, '91 and '93, all
PGs) is dimly lit, hard-edged, too violent for some under 10, and narratively muddled; this time the four Ninja Turtle fighters
(mutated long ago by a polluted "ooze" and named for Italian Renaissance artists Leonardo, Michelangelo, Raphael and Donatello)
have become estranged; Master Splinter says they must become one again before fighting a new threat: reanimated stone warriors
from ancient Central America, related to an artifact the TMNT's archeologist pal April (voice of Sarah Michelle Gellar) has
delivered to a museum director (Patrick Stewart). Semi-harsh language (" snot kicked out of him"); tired ethnic stereotypes;
off-color joke most kids won't get refers subtly to phone-sex industry; red-eyed monsters loom huge, along with the ancient
warriors; battles between them and TMNTs not shown as bloody, but big and loud.)
"Bridge to Terabithia" PG
(Touching story (based on Katherine Paterson's novel) about a deep friendship between fifth-graders Jess (Josh Hutcherson),
a budding artist from a rural family that ignores him, and Leslie (AnnaSophia Robb), a free-spirited daughter of wealthy writers;
the two create a fantasy world, Terabithia, in the woods, facing down bullies there and in real life; film's gritty naturalism
is marred by a charmless, computer-animated effort to visualize Terabithia. Under-8s may be spooked by swooping vultures,
giant trolls, armored attack squirrels, and a huge tree that morphs into a troll (pretty cool, actually); adults use mild
profanity; kid-scuffles with bloodied noses; verbal references to a girl whose dad hits her; kids discuss religion; WARNING
-- PLOT GIVEAWAY: Film's last act deals with strong sense of grief and loss.)
-- 10 AND OLDER:
"The
Last Mimzy" PG (NEW) (Kids into science, idea of time-travel will like film's cool premise, despite its messy, disappointing
execution: a 10-year-old boy (Chris O'Neil) and his little sister (Rhiannon Leigh Wryn) find a box on the beach, full of spinning,
humming rocks and crystals, plus a stuffed bunny that "talks" to the little girl about saving a doomed world; soon their parents
(Timothy Hutton, Joely Richardson) and Homeland Security are concerned. Too intense for some under 10: adult characters voice
9/11 paranoia; little girl hysterical when her mother throws out the magical "toys"; later she's nearly sucked into a space/time
vortex; kids levitate themselves, move objects or talk telepathically; kids say things "suck" and hamburgers are "chopped-up
cow"; two-headed snake; bugs; federal agents drag a family off for questioning; teacher lives with his girlfriend; talk of
reincarnation.)
"Pride" PG (NEW) (Terrence Howard is charismatic as usual in affecting, uplifting, though overly
teary-eyed drama about real-life swim coach Jim Ellis and how he began coaching inner-city Philadelphia teens to swim competitively
in the early 1970s, helping to turn their ives around despite poverty, racism; Bernie Mac as the burned-out rec center maintenance
man inspired by Ellis' dedication; Tom Arnold as a bigoted rival coach. Realistic theme about evils of racism; occasional
racial slurs; high level of profanity for a PG film -- much use of the S-word; crude verbal joke about a broken condom; fistfight;
rude hand gesture; local thug makes threats; women who appear to be prostitutes.)
-- PG-13s:
"The Namesake"
(NEW; LIMITED RELEASE) (Warm, witty, occasionally heartbreaking, utterly involving story (based on Jhumpa Lahiri's novel),
marred slightly by superficial portrayals of one or two key supporting characters, about a couple from 1970s Calcutta who
enter into an arranged marriage and move to New York; film chronicles how they and their children tangle over how much tradition
to keep in America, how much to let go; they feel estranged from their son (Kal Penn) when he brings home a rich, white girl
(Jacinda Barrett) and spends more time with her family; highly evocative film is ethnically specific, yet universal, with
a subtle literary thread running through it. Steamy but nonexplicit sexual situations; rear-view nudity; flashbacks of train
accident; one scene showing bloodied victims; themes of grief, loss; marijuana; drinking; smoking; rare profanity. High-schoolers.)
"Premonition" (Sandra Bullock stranded in a corny, endlessly derivative, clunkily directed supernatural thriller
about a stay-at-home mom who has a time-bending flash-forward to hearing news of her husband's (Julian McMahon) accidental
death, then wakes up the next day to find him alive; the process repeats -- one day he's dead, the next alive; her sanity
questioned, she tries to solve the mystery. Some teens could be upset by: film's sense of numbing grief, loss; brief glimpse
of a severed head; a fiery crash; a bloodied decomposing crow; stitched-up wounds on a child's face; character dragged screaming
to a psychiatric ward and given injection; child having a bad, but not life-threatening, accident; mild sexual innuendo in
marital scenes; rare strongish profanity; subtle allusions to infidelity, suicide; smoking; drinking; tranquilizers.)
"Wild
Hogs" (Slow to start, but ultimately amusing comedy about four middle-aged Cincinnati guys (Tim Allen, John Travolta,
Martin Lawrence and William H. Macy) who toss their cell phones and go on a cross-country motorcycle trip; in New Mexico they
face a "real" motorcycle gang (led by Ray Liotta). Too lewd to be a total family comedy; crude language; sexual innuendo --
much of it homophobic; gross toilet humor; considerable midrange profanity; comic fights, mayhem; skinny-dipping scene with
a character naked from behind; condom joke; prolonged subplot about a gay state trooper (John C. McGinley) who nearly stalks
the guys; free-for-all fight; drinking, smoking. OK for high-schoolers.)
-- R's:
"Shooter" (NEW) (Rip-snorter
action thriller moves so supercool fast (directed by Antoine Fuqua, who did "Training Day" R, 2001) audiences won't have time
to trip over logical/logistical speed-bumps in the script (based on Washington Post film critic Stephen Hunter's novel, "Point
of Impact"); Mark Wahlberg as Bob Lee Swagger, ex-Marine sniper, who leaves the military after his superiors betray him during
a secret mission; a civilian mountain man three years later, he's recruited by an ex-colonel (Danny Glover) to use his sniper
skills to stop a presidential assassination; again he's betrayed -- set up as a would-be assassin, wounded and on the run,
aided by Michael Pena as a rooky FBI agent, Kate Mara as his Marine buddy's widow. High-powered point-blank and long-distance
shootings with much blood, occasional gore; gun suicide; fingers, then arm shot off; do-it-yourself bullet removal; villain's
implied intention to commit rape; strong profanity; beer. Action fans 16 and older.)
"I Think I Love My Wife"
(Chris Rock co-wrote, directed and stars in edgy, profane, moderately sprightly, but superficial comedy -- a Rock-coarsened
update of a 1972 French film "Chloe in the Afternoon" (R); he plays a family guy toying with cheating on his wife (Gina Torres)
with a gorgeous acquaintance (Kerry Washington) who appears at his office, flaunting her allure; he starts a flirtation, debates
his moral choices. Repeated use of F-word in both nonsexual and sexual meanings; other graphic sexual language; rare steamy,
mostly nonexplicit sexual situations, excepting one sequence about that famous 4-hour side effect of Viagra -- no nudity,
but graphically implied; racial jokes; rhymes-with-witch word; someone gets beaten up; marijuana; drinking; cigarettes; reference
to suicide attempt. Despite its R-nesses, film comes down squarely in favor of fidelity, family. Too raunchy for under-17s.)
"Beyond the Gates" (LIMITED RELEASE) (Understated, yet heart and gut-wrenching fact-based drama (with fictionalized
characters) about a British priest (John Hurt) and teacher (Hugh Dancy) at a school in Kigali, Rwanda, who tried to shelter
some 2500 Tutsi children and adults during the 1994 genocide; filmed in the actual school, movie re-enacts how United Nations
peacekeepers followed orders not to intervene, how European troops rescued whites only. Depictions of people, including a
mother and infant, hacked to death with machetes or shot -- harrowing, bloody, but not exploitatively graphic, often partly
hidden from view; roads strewn with bodies; murdered nuns, with implication one was also raped or mutilated; painful verbal
description of murder of a baby; strong profanity; racial slurs; drinking; smoking. College students.)
"300"
(Stunning, digitally enhanced, occasionally giggle-inducing, but mostly epic-feeling and sounding adaptation of graphic novel
(by Frank Miller and Lynn Varley) about Sparta's King Leonidas (Gerard Butler) and the Battle of Thermopylae in 480 B.C.,
when he and 300 men faced Persian emperor Xerxes and his mega-army; narration, dialogue, battles all seem effectively ancient,
portentous. Stylized visuals, muted colors make violence seem otherworldly, less gory, but still harrowing -- not for all
high-school-age stomachs; spears, daggers through guts, eyes; horses cut down from under warriors; strongly implied rape --
camera cuts away before it becomes graphic; more explicit, but very stylized, sexual montage between Leonidas and his Queen
(Lena Headey); back-view nudity; toplessness; a few subtle homoerotic verbal references; mild curses. High-schoolers.)
(c) 2007, Washington Post Writers Group.
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Warning: 10 Things Pregnant Women Should Avoid
By Jennifer Polimino, C.P.T.
Nothing is more important to an expectant mom than the health and safety of her unborn child.
Fortunately, you can protect your baby by avoiding risks that can complicate a pregnancy or cause harm to your baby.
This
list of 10 things pregnant women should avoid will answer questions and put your mind at ease, which in turn helps with the
first item on our list...
1) Avoid stress
Stress and tension attacks your physical body in surprising ways.
For example, in pregnant women, stress can cause constipation, back pain, insomnia, and even lead to preterm or low birth
weight.
2) Avoid tobacco smoke
Smoking is extremely harmful to your unborn baby (as well as to yourself) and
must be completely avoided. In fact, it's so harmful, that pregnant women should even avoid other people's smoke.
When
you smoke, your baby gets less oxygen, which can cause your baby to grow more slowly and gain less weight. Tobacco smoke has
also been linked to preterm labor and other pregnancy complications.
3) Avoid OTC Medication, including Aspirin
Over
the Counter (OTC) medication should be avoided, unless specifically approved by your doctor, because everything you take passes
through your placenta to your unborn baby also.
4) Avoid the Cat's Litter Box
On the rare chance that your
cat carries toxoplasmosis, you should get someone else to change the cat's litter box while you're pregnant. If you have no
one else, wear plastic gloves and wash your hands afterward. Toxoplasmosis is a disease that can cause birth defects in children.
Outdoor cats may get it if they eat prey that carried toxoplasmosis, and the cat will not necessarily show any symptoms. However,
this does not mean you have to get rid of your cat while you're pregnant.
5) Avoid Caffeine
During pregnancy,
it's wise to avoid coffee, tea, or sodas that contain caffeine, because when you drink caffeine, you're also feeding this
stimulant to your unborn baby. Caffeine stimulates the heart and brain, and is an addictive substance with drug-like qualities.
6) Avoid Vitamin A Supplements
Vitamin A is abundant in so many foods, it's extremely rare to find a person
who lacks vitamin A. And if you get too much of it during pregnancy, it can be toxic to the baby and may cause birth defects
or miscarriage.
During pregnancy, you need 770 micrograms of vitamin A. While breastfeeding, you need 1,300 micrograms.
If you're looking at a label that measures in IU (International Unit), then you can have up to 10,000 IUs of vitamin A.
7)
Avoid Pesticides, including Paint
During the first trimester, the baby's nervous system is growing rapidly, so it's
especially important to avoid pesticides and toxic fumes during that time. Read the labels of household cleaners for toxic
substances and consider using natural cleaners such as baking soda and vinegar.
Pregnant women should avoid stripping
paint, because if the house was built before 1978, there is a good chance some of the layers contain lead. Lead has been shown
to harm the baby's developing brain and nervous system.
8) Avoid Sauna, Jacuzzis, and Tanning Beds
Pregnant
women get overheated more easily due to their hormonal changes and the additional heat from the baby's body. Studies suggest
that pregnant women who suffered overheating from saunas and Jacuzzis had babies with neural defects (when the brain and spinal
chord don't form properly). In addition, tanning beds should be avoided, because stretched skin is more vulnerable to burning.
9) Avoid Fish Containing Mercury
Fish known to contain mercury in their fatty tissues such as shark, swordfish,
king mackerel, fresh tuna, sea bass, and tilefish. (Canned chunk light tuna contains less mercury, but still should be eaten
in moderation.) When a pregnant woman consumes large amounts of mercury, the baby may suffer brain damage.
For those
who like to fish in local lakes and rivers, you need to be careful of fish that contain industrial pollutants called polychlorinated
biphenyls (PCBs) in their fatty tissues. Examples are the bluefish and striped bass, and freshwater fish such as salmon, pike,
trout, and walleye from contaminated lakes and rivers. Remember, this applies only to those who are fishing local waters,
not to those who are buying fish in their grocery stores. (You can check with your local Health Department to determine which
fish in your area are safe to eat.)
Consumption of large amounts of PCBs by pregnant women is linked to decreased
attention, memory, and IQ in their babies.
10) Avoid Alcohol
Alcoholic beverages of any and all kinds are
not to be consumed during pregnancy. If you have a drink, the alcohol passes through your bloodstream into the placenta, and
your baby has a drink of equal strength to your own. But because the baby is so much smaller and still developing, the alcohol
can have devastating effects: your baby could be born with fetal alcohol syndrome (FAS) and/or have mental and physical defects.
No amount of alcohol during pregnancy is safe, according to the March of Dimes.
Everything you eat and drink, and
everything you don't eat and drink has an influence on the development of your growing baby. Knowing what to avoid can help
you make all the best choices for a healthy pregnancy. Additionally, some women find this is the perfect opportunity to make
lasting changes to improve their own health as well.
*About the Author: Jennifer Polimino is the author of the book
"Slim Mom Secrets: How to Have a Happy, Healthy Pregnancy and Baby." She also has a FREE Healthy Pregnancy Coaching Club at
www.SlimMomCoach.com and she publishes a FREE online Healthy Pregnancy Tips newsletter, available at www.SlimMomSecrets.com.
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Today's Reader Submitted Photos
Q. My question is about our 3-year-old granddaughter.
She's very bright, and her vocabulary and comprehension are off the charts. She has this habit of putting everything she plays
with, including books, dolls, balls and play dishes, in a straight line. So when you go into a room where she's playing, all
you see are perfectly straight lines. She gets very upset if any of these things are touched, picked up or put away. These
toys are also placed from smallest to largest.
Is this something I shouldn't worry about, something she'll simply
outgrow? She's very loving, but at times very self-centered. Does this come from her being so bright? Both parents are attorneys
and very bright people. Are there any books for me to read about young children with this obsession? I'd appreciate any information
you could give me.
A. It's true that some highly gifted children can be quite obsessive. Apparently, their ability
to organize information is helpful to their learning a great deal of it, or perhaps that order is reversed.
While
I can't tell you whether your grandchild is extraordinarily gifted or too obsessive, I can tell you that I've seen that combination
frequently. Some children do outgrow their needs for so much order, but other people's responses to that order can make a
difference.
Helping your granddaughter to be more flexible, to change the order of things or to comply with picking
up toys appropriately will gradually assist her in becoming more flexible. If her wish for organization begins controlling
the family's behavior, it's a sign that she should get psychological help. An evaluation of both her obsessive tendencies
and her giftedness could give her parents a better picture of how to guide her.
It would be best for her to go to
a psychologist who specializes in gifted children and will also be willing to guide her parents. They can find that psychologist
by contacting their state association for gifted and talented children, the National Association for Gifted and Talented Children
or the State Department of Education. My book "Keys to Parenting the Gifted Child" (2006) would also be helpful.
For
a free newsletter about "Keys to Parenting the Gifted Child," send a large self-addressed, stamped envelope to P.O. Box 32,
Watertown, WI, 53094, or go to www.sylviarimm.com for more information.
Q. My husband and I try to avoid using the
terms "good boy/girl" and "bad boy/girl" with our three children. We believe it's judgmental and prefer to use "good job"
and "you're not cooperating." How can we explain this to our parents and, hopefully, get them to stop using these judgmental
terms?
A. While I understand your theory about emphasizing their process, rather than making a character judgment,
I must admit you're probably wasting your time trying to change their grandparents or, for that matter, their teachers, your
friends, their coaches and the thousands of other adults who will surround them throughout their lives. You should continue
to do what you believe in, but don't worry so much about the others.
The most "important others" in children's lives
are their parents, and children's lives can't be entirely controlled. They need to grow up to be resilient, and a little variety
in the way they're treated is part of building resilience. Enjoy them, and encourage your parents to enjoy them. What's most
important is that you're a team, respecting and loving each other. That will make the adults who surround them into good role
models.
For a free newsletter about the principles of parenting, or about grandparenting do's and don'ts, send a large
self-addressed, stamped envelope to P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI, 53094, or read "The Foundational Principles of Parenting"
at www.sylviarimm.com.
Dr. Sylvia B. Rimm is the director of the Family Achievement Clinic in Cleveland, Ohio, a clinical
professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine, and the author of many books
on parenting. More information on raising kids is available at www.sylviarimm.com. Please send questions to: Sylvia B. Rimm
on Raising Kids, P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI 53094 or srimm@sylviarimm.com. To read features by other Creators Syndicate writers
and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
Copyright 2007 Creators Syndicate
Inc.
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Brief bouts of exercise
cut child obesity
BRISTOL, England (UPI) -- Taking the time to kick a
soccer ball for 15 minutes after school could make a big difference in childhood obesity, say British and American researchers.
Participating in recreational activity for a brief period each day can reduce a child's chances of becoming obese
by nearly 50 percent, says a study published online in PLoS Medicine.
The study was conducted by the ongoing Avon
Longitudinal Study of Parents and Children, based out of the University of Bristol. It followed more than 5,500 12-year-olds
by measuring their activity levels for 10 hours a day. Although eating the right food is crucial in staving off obesity, the
researchers found getting good exercise establishes better long-term habits.
"What this research tells us is we must
not forget about activity. It's been really surprising to us how even small amounts of exercise appear to have dramatic results,"
head researcher Chris Riddoch said in a statement.
Experts suggest walking your child to school, rather than driving,
could be a simple way to improve the future of your child. Keeping any activity at least as vigorous as a brisk walk is also
important, experts said.
Copyright 2007 by United Press
International
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Office Humor from the
New Yorker
Share a laugh with your co-workers -- pass around today's
New Yorker Office Humor cartoon! For more daily laughs, you can subscribe to this free New Yorker ezine
and more, exclusively from ArcaMax. New subscribers also receive a free New Yorker-style cartoon with their name in the caption.
Also -- ArcaMax is partnering with Publisher's Clearing House to offer a reader the chance to win $5,000. To enter
directly and receive more information, go directly to the PCH Web site.
Subscribe to New Yorker Office Humor.
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-- From the ArcaMax editors
Today's Reader Submitted
Photos
 |
 |
The results from several scientific studies on exercise
and pregnancy are in, and the findings are astounding. This is vital information for every mom-to-be, whether this is her
first pregnancy or beyond.
Five Questions About Exercise Every Pregnant Woman Must Ask:
1) Is it safe for
me to exercise?
In a case-control study conducted at Swedish Medical Center in Seattle, women reported on activities
of varying strenuousness, including walking, brisk walking, and stair climbing. One woman even ran a 3-hour marathon, unaware
that she was four months pregnant!
The study results showed that moderate exercise during pregnancy is not only desirable,
but that it is also necessary for optimal emotional health.
Another study reported in the Journal of Psychosomatic
Obstetric and Gynecology states that women who exercised regularly during their pregnancies reported less depression and less
stress in the first and second trimesters. In addition, regular exercise reduced the risk of gestational diabetes and toxemia.
2) How does exercise affect the unborn baby?
When moms-to-be exercise during their pregnancies, it has a marvelous
effect on their babies. Maureen C. Hatch and her co-workers at Columbia University found that the exercisers had babies who
were better equipped to handle illnesses. The study showed that the babies' mothers' fitness was passed on to them. Even more
impressive was the finding that exercise also improved their babies' mental capacity!
3) Is there any effect on the
baby's brain?
Yes, a report in the Journal of Pediatrics stated that the children of women who exercised faithfully
throughout their pregnancies all had significantly higher scores on oral language tests and on general intelligence tests.
4) Are there long-term effects on the child when the pregnant woman exercises regularly?
Yes again. In another
study, Dr. James Clapp III found that by age five, the babies of mothers who exercised for at least 30 minutes three times
a week showed superiority in four ways:
* They scored higher on intelligence tests.
* They scored higher on
oral language tests.
* They demonstrated better coordination.
* They had lower levels of body fat and were
therefore more fit.
5) What effect does exercise have on labor and delivery?
Again, science backs up what
I've been recommending to my fitness clients for the past sixteen years. Exercise has a profound effect on your labor and
delivery. While no one can predict or guarantee what your labor will be like, studies of groups of women are conclusive enough
to draw some definite conclusions.
A report in the Journal of Pediatrics says women who exercise had, on average,
two hours shorter active labor. Believe me, when your contractions are coming strong and close together, two hours is a big
chunk of time! Furthermore, Cesarean births were significantly reduced.
So there you have it. Exercise during pregnancy
is good for you, both physically and emotionally. It can keep you more comfortable during pregnancy and help you during labor
and delivery. It can even help your baby be healthy. With so many good reasons to exercise, how could you say no?
As
always, check with your health care provider, because every woman and every pregnancy is different. If at any time during
your exercise you feel over-heated, stop and cool down. Do not let your heart rate get over 120. And if you feel faint, dizzy,
or start having contractions, stop immediately and call your physician.
*About the Author: Jennifer Polimino is the
author of the book "Slim Mom Secrets: How to Have a Happy, Healthy Pregnancy and Baby." She also has a FREE Healthy Pregnancy
Coaching Club at www.SlimMomCoach.com and she publishes a FREE online Healthy Pregnancy Tips newsletter, available at
www.SlimMomSecrets.com.
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"Snuggle Time" May Just
Need A New Name
By
Sylvia Rimm
Q. Recently, my ex-husband told my 9-year-old son that
he and I should not snuggle at bedtime. My son is with us 50 percent of the time, and he likes me to lie down next to him
and chat for a few minutes before he goes to sleep. That's what we call our "snuggle time."
My son has a queen-size
bed, and we have more than enough room for our own personal space. My ex-husband told my son that if he was embarrassed to
tell anyone that we "snuggle" at night, then it wasn't OK for us to be doing it!
My son was crying as he told me this
and said he didn't want to hurt my feelings by telling me that his dad thought he was too old for "that kind of thing." It
broke my heart that he can't be just an innocent 9-year-old who's affectionate and sweet, without his dad making him feel
bad about the things he enjoys with me. My son confided that he didn't tell people because he was afraid they'd make fun of
him, not because he was ashamed of it or felt it was somehow wrong.
This tells me he's a normal 9-year-old who wants
to look "cool" or "tough" in front of friends, but still loves mom to hang out with him! Am I wrong in this? I only snuggle
when he asks me to, which is most nights, and I always leave after a few minutes. Help!
A. A renaming of your "snuggle
time" would undoubtedly reduce the anxiety for everyone because your description sounds much more like "secret chat" time
than "snuggle" time. Certainly even a 12- or 13-year-old can enjoy hugs from Mom, as long as he's not among his buddies.
Talking
at bedtime is the most effective time to get kids to share with parents, since they're rarely anxious to go to sleep. Kids
at age 9 love secrets and even consider them cool. Every night wouldn't be too often, as long as your son doesn't keep you
near his side until he falls asleep. He definitely does not have to grow up too fast to be well-adjusted.
For a free
newsletter about "Growing Up Too Fast," send a large self-addressed, stamped envelope to P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI 53094,
or read other parenting articles at www.sylviarimm.com.
Q. My son is a very bright young lad, according to his recent
SATs. However, he's arrogant. Whenever the issue of 'the French' arises, he ruthlessly denies their existence. Furthermore,
he believes Belgium is a complete fallacy invented by some "fat cat" in Washington to scare people.
My wife has recently
tried to curb his behavior by plying him with wine. This has only increased his problems, including a new vendetta against
Luxembourg. Please help.
A. Whatever game your clever son is playing, offering French wine as a truth serum will keep
him playing it. You might try agreeing with him, and he'll quickly change his game. His behavior is oppositional. If all else
is well, avoid the discussion on France and Belgium for peace at home. He knows he's wrong, and so do you, but don't be surprised
if he begins another game with you. If other parts of his life are falling apart, and they may be soon, get help from a psychologist.
For a free newsletter about the principles of parenting, or about gifted children, send a large self-addressed, stamped
envelope to P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI, 53094, or read "The Foundational Principles of Parenting" at www.sylviarimm.com.
Dr.
Sylvia B. Rimm is the director of the Family Achievement Clinic in Cleveland, Ohio, a clinical professor of psychiatry and
pediatrics at the Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine, and the author of many books on parenting. More information
on raising kids is available at www.sylviarimm.com. Please send questions to: Sylvia B. Rimm on Raising Kids, P.O. Box 32,
Watertown, WI 53094 or srimm@sylviarimm.com. To read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the
Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
Copyright 2007 Creators Syndicate
Inc.
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Today's Reader Submitted
Photos
DAYTON, Ohio (UPI) -- Two parents who visited an Ohio
middle school because they thought their children had been in a fight, ended up fighting themselves.
One of the parents
bit her opponent in Friday's incident, WEWS-TV Cleveland reported.
The fight took place at Fairview Middle School
in Dayton.
Two people suffered minor injuries and police may charge the woman who was accused of biting her adversary,
the TV station said.
Copyright 2007 by United Press
International
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Report: Kids in superhero
costumes at risk
NOTTINGHAM, England (UPI) -- A study by a child specialist
in the British city of Nottingham has found that children wearing superhero costumes have a higher chance of being injured.
The study by Dr. Patrick Davies of the Queen's Medical Center found that when children don their superhero costumes,
they are more likely to engage in imitative behavior of the hero and increase their chances of injury, The Daily Mail said.
"Imaginary role models are an essential part of growing up and it is important not to deny children their unrealistic
dreams, whether it be scaling the sides of buildings, flying or playing football for England," Davies said.
"However,
parents need to be aware that children may believe that their abilities have been given a superboost with an appropriate costume,"
he added.
In his study, that focuses on five specific cases of child injuries related to such costumes, Davies also
warns of the likely effects of the impending release of a "Superman" film.
"Although the merchandising bombardment
is yet to be released, we anticipate a rush of injured Supermen to come through our department in the next few months," he
told the paper.
Copyright 2007 by United Press
International
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Today's Reader Submitted
Photos
GOOD TEACHERS CREATE CLASSROOMS FREE OF RIDICULE
QUESTION: You once wrote about an overweight fourth-grade girl who was teased by nine aggressive boys as she entered
the classroom -- all while the teacher looked on in silence. What would you have done if you had been the teacher on that
day?
DR. DOBSON: Those mocking, joking boys would have had a fight on their hands, I promise you that. Of course,
it would have been better if the embarrassment could have been prevented by discussing the feelings of others from the first
day of school. But if the conflict occurred as described, with Nancy suddenly being humiliated for everyone to see, I would
have thrown the full weight of my authority and respect on her side of the battle. My spontaneous response would have carried
this general theme:
"Wait just a minute! By what right do any of you boys have to say such mean, unkind things to
Nancy? I want to know which of you is so perfect that the rest of us couldn't make fun of you in some way? I know you all
very well. I know about your homes and your school records and some of your personal secrets. Would you like me to share them
with the class, so we can all laugh at you the way you just did at Nancy? I could do it! I could make you want to crawl into
a hole and disappear.
"But listen to me! You need not fear. I will never embarrass you in that way. Why not? Because
it hurts to be laughed at by your friends. It hurts even more than a stubbed toe or a cut finger or a bee sting.
"I
want to ask those of you who were having such a good time a few minutes ago: Have you ever had a group of students make fun
of you in the same way? If you haven't, then brace yourself. Someday it will happen to you, too. Eventually you will say something
foolish -- something that will cause everyone to point at you and laugh in your face. And when it happens, I want you to remember
what happened today.
(Then addressing the entire class) "Let's make sure that we learn something important from what
took place here this afternoon. First, we will not be mean to each other in this class. We will laugh together when things
are funny, but we will not do it by making one person feel bad.
"Second, I will never intentionally embarrass anyone
in this class. You can count on that. Each of you is a child of God. You were made with his loving hands, and he has said
that we all have equal worth as human beings. This means that Susie is neither better nor worse than Wade or Mary or Brent.
"Sometimes I think maybe you believe a few of you are more important than others. It isn't true. Every one of you
is priceless to God, and each of you will live forever in eternity. That's how valuable you are. God loves every boy and girl
in this room, and because of that, I love every one of you. He wants us to be kind to other people, and we're going to be
practicing that kindness through the rest of this year."
When a strong, loving teacher comes to the aid of the least
respected child in her class, as I've described, something dramatic occurs in the emotional climate of the room. Every child
seems to utter an audible sigh of relief. The same thought is bouncing around in many little heads: "If Nancy is safe from
ridicule -- even Nancy -- then I must be safe too."
By defending the least popular child in the room, a teacher is
demonstrating (1) that she has no "pets"; (2) that she respects everyone; (3) that she will fight for anyone who is being
treated unjustly. Those are three virtues that children value highly, and that contribute to mental health.
And may
I suggest to parents: Defend the underdog in your neighborhood. Let it be known that you have the confidence to speak for
the outcast. Explain this philosophy to your neighbors, and try to create an emotional harbor for the little children whose
ship has been threatened by a storm of rejection. Don't be afraid to exercise leadership on behalf of a youngster who is being
mauled. There is no more worthy investment of your time and energy.
Dr. Dobson is founder and chairman of the board
of the nonprofit organization Focus on the Family, P.O. Box 444, Colorado Springs, CO. 80903; or www.family.org. Questions and answers are excerpted from "The Complete Marriage and Family Home
Reference Guide" and "Bringing Up Boys," both published by Tyndale House.
COPYRIGHT 2007 JAMES DOBSON INC.
COPYRIGHT 2006 JAMES DOBSON
INC. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission
of uclick and Universal Press Syndicate.
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Enjoy a Traditional
Colonial Dinner
Families who may be visiting Jamestown and Williamsburg
this year for the American Sesquecentennial -- the 400th birthday of America -- can have a full historical experience by visiting
the traditional restaurants and taverns of the area.
The Colonial Dining Guide, part of ArcaMax's Jamestown birthday feature, gives prices, menu selections, and more. You'll also want to browse resorts,
hotels and B & Bs in the Places to Stay Guide.
Also -- ArcaMax is partnering with Publisher's Clearing House to offer
a reader the chance to win $5,000. To enter directly and receive more information, go directly to the PCH Web site.
Find out more about America's 400th Birthday.
-- From the ArcaMax editors
Today's Reader Submitted
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PROVIDENCE, R.I. (UPI) -- Parents of children with
sleep problems are more likely to have sleep-related problems themselves, including more daytime sleepiness, says a U.S. study.
Researchers at the Bradley Hasbro Children's Research Center and Brown Medical School studied 107 families seeking
treatment for their children aged 2 to 12 at a pediatric sleep disorders clinic, and found a link between children's and parents'
sleep problems.
For both parents, having a child with more than one sleep disorder -- including obstructive sleep
apnea, sleep terrors, insomnia and bedtime refusal -- was associated with greater parental daytime sleepiness.
The
study, published in the Journal of Family Psychology, says a link between parental and child sleep was particularly apparent
for mothers. Mothers of children with sleep disorders had significantly greater daytime sleepiness than fathers, even though
they reported about the same number of hours of sleep per night.
"We think this might be because mothers tend to bear
more responsibility for responding to children's sleep problems during the night, and this may disrupt their sleep to a greater
extent than fathers' sleep," says study author Julie Boergers.
Copyright 2007 by United Press
International
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Fisher-Price fined over
choking hazard
WASHINGTON (UPI) -- Fisher-Price Inc. has agreed to
pay a $975,000 fine for failing to report one of its toys could choke young children, a U.S. consumer agency said Thursday.
A nail fastener in the Little People Animal Sounds Farm could separate from the toy and "pose a serious choking or
aspiration hazard to young children," the Consumer Product Safety Commission said.
In agreeing to the settlement,
Fisher-Price denied it knowingly violated the law.
The East Aurora, N.Y., company first learned a metal nail fastener
came loose from a toy barn's stall doors in September 2002 after selling 67,000 of the toys nationwide that summer.
It
got nearly a dozen other reports through February 2003, including one of a 14-month-old boy who inhaled a fastener and had
to have it surgically removed from his lung, the agency said.
The company reported the hazard to the agency in March
2003 after receiving at least 33 reports of fasteners coming loose, the agency said.
Federal law requires companies
to report dangerous product defects to the agency within 24 hours of learning of them.
Consumers can call Fisher-Price
at 866-259-7873 or order a repair kit online at www.service.mattel.com.
Copyright 2007 by United Press
International
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SAN FRANCISCO (UPI) -- U.S. researchers have shown
that a treatment method called Child-Parent Psychotherapy improves development for small children traumatized by violence.
Infants and pre-school children who live in daily circumstances of potential trauma and danger can develop the resilience
to cope through treatment that focuses on strengthening parent-child bonds, according to Alicia Lieberman, founder and director
of the University of California, San Francisco Child Trauma Research Project at San Francisco General Hospital Medical Center.
One key element for these traumatized children and their parents is to step beyond traditional treatment that focuses
primarily on the parents' own experiences of helplessness and fear, says Lieberman.
"It is important to focus on trauma,
but we have learned that it is more effective to simultaneously help parents to focus on events in their lives that give them
pleasure, fulfillment and hope as they raise their children," Lieberman says.
Lieberman presented the findings at
the American Association for the Advancement of Science annual meeting in San Francisco. Copyright 2007 by United Press International
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Test Your Historical
Knowledge
2007 marks America's 400th birthday. How much do you
know about the last 400 years? Try some games and quizzes to test your knowledge.
If you're looking for more challenges, subscribe
to the ArcaMax Trivia ezine, or brush up on your history first with the daily History & Quotes ezine.
Subscribe to Trivia instantly.
Find out more before subscribing.
Subscribe to History & Quotes instantly.
Find out more before subscribing.
Visit the 400th Anniversary feature.
-- From the ArcaMax editors
Today's Reader Submitted
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